The Intergalactic, Planetary, Intergalactic Banking Clan

"The Banking Clan will sign your treaty!"
"Very good. Once our—"
"The Banking Clan
will sign your treaty."
"Yes, good. Once—"
"The Banking Clan will sign
your treaty."
"I understand, but—"
Banking Clan will sign your treaty."
"Look, you've only got one line in the movie. Don't grandstand.
San Hill and Dooku

The Intergalactic Banking Clan, or IGBC, member FDIC, was a commerce guild organization of the Galactic Republic, headquartered on Muunilinst. It was a union of clans of wbankers, proving that those anorexic losers managed to get at least three-fourths of their own damn title correct. Sadly for the pasty-faced goths, every single wbanker had delusions of grandeur the day they decided to name it "InterGalactic". Honestly, they could be done by the Trades Descriptions Act. Y'know, the Intra-Galactic Trades Descriptions Act.

During the Clone Wars, San Hill was the leader of the IGBC. Hill became one of the founding financiers of the Confederacy of Independent Systems, then celebrated by "making it rain," which did not amuse Dooku at all. The IGBC pledged its ships and battle droids to the Confederacy... wait, battle droids? Ah, well, the Banking Clan kept battle droids as part of its, er, collections division. Just suspend disbelief and go with it. Their most potent weapons were Hailfire droids.

Their penchant for ideas above their skinny little stations resulted in the Valmorification of Grievous, who was rendered a colossal failure when Obi-Wan Kenobi goddamn exploded his eyeballs off. The resultant debts forced San Hill into hiding on Mustafar. Reports that he gained access to a Chameleon Arch and rewrote his biology to become a Human[1] during the Galactic Civil War are spurious to say the least.[2]

After the Separatist Crisis ended, Palpatine offered the IGBC a massive, quadrillion-credit bailout and ended up controlling them.

This article is called InterGalactic Banking Clan. InterGalactic Banking Clan has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of InterGalactic Banking Clan can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on InterGalactic Banking Clan.

Notes and referencesEdit

  1. A free fob watch to anyone who gets this reference. Jeez, I'm wasted here. In more than one sense of the phrase.
  2. Because Empire of War: Forces of Corruption sucks bantha balls when it comes to differentiating between "Human" and "not-at-all-Human"...

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