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Jacen Solo

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Jacen Solo
Biographical information
Homeworld

Coruscant

Born

9 ABY

Died

About Damn Time!

Physical description
Species

Human

Gender

Male (confirmed by that Hapan witch-queen)

Hair color

Dark

Eye color

Dark

Chronological and political information
Affiliation
Known masters

Lumiya

"I'm dagnasty evil witches!"
―Jacen Solo

Jacen Solo was dagnasty evil. But originally, he was a good person who after getting placed in the tickle torture of the Yuuzahn and the Vongets. He then accidentally raped His Fierceness' daughter. He then started singing to a new tune with the Sith becoming the lead singer lord. He then took the Witches of Dothmir and placed them in tickle torture until they became his back up singers and laughed at all his jokes. He then killed the the loopy old redhead that married Wormie. After this incident, he took to wearing a top hat and suit, a cloak and a top hat, as well as holding a cane with a skull on it. He frequently yelled "Nya!" then ran of to do his dastardly deeds. He then tried to molest his whiny cousin. His sister Jaina Solo said she would NEVER sing with him again after he made her sing low Alto. And, before that, he tried to find and eliminate his parents, but his Force skills were too weak to detect them at a distance of more than ten meters. Somewhere between there he renamed himself Darth Coo-Coodus and tried to make the entire galaxy a peaceful happy hippy land. First God Owned him, but bright him back to life so he could get his ass kicked a couple more times. Then he got his ass kicked by Wormie. Then he got his ass kicked by Boba Fett. Then he got his ass kicked by Tenel Ka. Then he got his ass kicked by Mara Jade's Force Ghost. Once Coo-Coodus had nearly been ass-kicked to the point of death, Jaina intervened, fatally stabbing her brother with her Mandalorian Army knife. It was just as well, because his brain had been messed up ever since Vergere, and Tenel Ka had emasculated him. In his final moments, Coo-Coodus became Jacen again and movingly sang "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" (in soprano!) before croaking.

"I'll NEVER sing with you again!"
―Jaina Solo

[Edit] Romance and Relationships

Jacen didn't have many, but he did study on Dathomir, where men are sex slaves. Then he whored himself out to Tenel Ka.

Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Jacen Solo.