Jurassic Park: Endor

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Jurassic Park: Endor was a leisure zone designed by Emperor Palpatine and some fiendish John Hammond for stormtroopers and high-ranking imperials to enjoy themselves seeing Ewoks, Gungans and other shits thrown alive into the paddocks of dinosaurs. Simply beautiful.




JP: Endor enclosed many, many kinds of dinosaurs cloned by Kaminoans - obviously - and... uh, other things.


  • T-Rex paddock: The park's most infamous place, where cars with kids inside got turned over, lawyers got eaten, crazy mathematicians were chased by pink dinos... among others.


Many kids saved up money to watch this from their savaged jeep

  • Velociraptor paddock: A shitty 30 x 30 m enclosure where Gungans got fed to hungry, scary dinos.

  • Vampire paddock: A very big, foggy forest where hot young women got stalked by hot young vampires, who got stalked by velociraptors.


Visitor's snapshot from the Vampire paddock


However, and very sadly for the bored stormtroopers, the Emperor (who was the one who put the cash in all this) was killed by his BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD and the mess was used by The Man of the Magic Word (hired by someone called Dogson) to steal the dino embryos, which sold up to 99 999 999 credits in the black market each unit.

Nah nah nah

That evil pedophile, The Man of the Magic Word


Darth Dog (left), trying to look like a secret agent, gives The Man of the Magic Word the most destructive weapon in the world!

Antoine Dodson Dennis Nedry by rwlpeter

The Man of the Magic Word has Dodson (who tried to bribe him) arrested by the Stormtroopers (not in picture)

This article is called Jurassic Park: Endor. Jurassic Park: Endor has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Jurassic Park: Endor can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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