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Karlessh

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Karlessh
Karlessh
Biographical information
Homeworld

Corellia

Physical description
Species

Gand

Gender

Male

Height

1.4 meters

Hair color

None

Eye color

Silver

Chronological and political information
Karlessh: "Corellian ATG represent, yo!"
Corellian: "Shut up, you barvy bug."
— Karlessh being a gangsta dork[src]

Karlessh, or, "Karl," as he was known by his friends, was a rebellious young male Gand living on Corellia. The offspring of Gand immigrants, he fell in with the wrong crowd and suitably became loud-mandibled, disrespectful, and a general antithesis of what one would normally expect of a Gand. He fostered a criminal record and has done time in prison twice. His second sentence involved an unpleasant encounter with a larger inmate, which finally scared him into turning his life around. After his release, Karlessh got his high school diploma and became a convenience store clerk.

BiographyEdit

Early lifeEdit

«No!»
―Karl's first word[src]

Karlessh was born on Corellia, the son of Gand immigrants. He earned his name by surviving infancy as all of his 25 brothers and sisters were eaten by his mother. Because Gands mature faster than most sentient species, Karlessh started school at age two. Being considerably younger than most of his classmates only became an apparent problem when he started classes in a sub-adult school; his teenage friends were all treated as such while Karlessh was still ordering from the children's menu. This irritated him greatly, along with the stereotypical treatment and preconceived notions of Gands that he constantly endured. People would exaggerate their facial expressions, ask him constantly about meditation, demand that he find damn near every single missing left sock, and quite frankly, it pissed Karlessh off.

So, what is a disenchanted wayward young Gand to do? Turn to crime and civil disobedience, of course! It is the only logical recourse.

Thus, Karlessh started down the dark path to a life of probation officers and jail time. He began acting out in class, vandalizing school property, and getting into fights with other students. However, Karlessh possessed a less-than-imposing stature and instigating a brawl with larger, more aggressive classmates usually backfired. He was a frequent flyer in detention, suspended so often that he needed to repeat a grade, and considered a lost cause by the faculty. His parents were ashamed and his mother wished to eat him, but Karlessh's exoskeleton was no longer as soft and edible as it was before he pupated.

Dis shit be gettin' serious, yoEdit

Karlessh soon took his deviant ways off school grounds. He hung out with a gang of miscreants, wore his pants almost around his ankles, threw basic grammar rules out the window, and swore like a smuggler. He would flash gang signs, but since he only had three fingers, all of the signs looked the same. Karlessh became a petty thief, thinking himself immune to the law. Until the day he boosted a speeder bike and spent some time in the penal system.

Prison life was hell for Karlessh as few prisoners had ever seen a Gand inmate, much less a young one. Tried as an adult, Karlessh dealt with combative inmates and avoided their transgressions against him as best as he could. The last thing he needed to endure would be Meathooks Charlie trying to ram a shank up his ovipositor. He served his sentence without incident, but apparently the punishment did not sink in as Karlessh was imprisoned once again for armed robbery.

Redemption...of sortsEdit

This time, however, Karlessh dropped the soap. The attack scared him so badly that when he was released, he turned his life around. Karlessh went back to school and got his diploma. His criminal record, however, prevented him from going to college, so he took a job as a convenience store clerk. Karma came back to bite him when a young punk held up the store. Karlessh thwarted the robbery by throwing scalding coffee in the kid's face. His manager hailed him as a hero and for the first time in years, Karlessh's mother did not want to eat him.

Personality and traitsEdit

"Karl gonna pop a cap in yo' ass!"
―Karl[src]

Karlessh was an aggressive young Gand who dressed like a hood and partook in delinquent activities. In other words, he was a damn chav. He peppered his speech with bad slang, swear words, and was overall disrespectful. After that night in the prison shower, Karlessh calmed down and was actually somewhat peaceable. He did not take kindly to thugs in his convenience store, however, and would not hesitate to jump over the counter and start some shit.

Behind the scenesEdit

Karlessh was created because Trak Nar thought the image of a gangsta Gand was funny as hell. Though, Trak Nar also thinks that snakes are cute, so to each their own.

RicOlieRight
This article is called Karlessh. Karlessh has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Karlessh can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
SWFanonFlag
Had too much humor? Who are you kidding? You can never get enough of it! Go check out the Star Wars Fanon Wiki's other article on Karlessh where you will find the real definition of Star Wars humor.

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