Kenth Hamner

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Newman Hamner
Kenth Hamner
Biographical information


Physical description






Hair color

Whitish blond

Personal shit
Chronological and political information
Known masters

Luke Skywalker

Known apprentices

Waz Not Waz

"And you are...?"
"Kenth Hamner."
"No, I don't see your name on the list. Where might I have seen you?"
"I am a Jedi Grand Master."
"Mm-hmm. No, really, what do you do for a living, sir?"
am a Jedi Grand Master."
"Listen, Mr. Hammer—"
"I'm a busy man, and this is a high-class establishment. Please leave."
"But I really
am a Jedi Grand Master! Just like Luke Skywalker!"
"Wait at the bar, wait at the bar...
―Kenth Hamner, trying to get a table at a fancy Coruscant restaurant

Kenth Hamner was apparently a Jedi Grand Master, the exalted rank of Jedi that led the New Jedi Order. He ran things when Luke Skywalker had more important things to do. He was calm, passive, dull, boring, ate nothing but rice cakes and trail mix, never said anything even remotely interesting, and looked kinda like a cross between Paul Newman and Ed Harris, with a little k.d. lang thrown in.

Hamner was born on Corellia. When asked for comment, every single person on Corellia, including Hamner's parents, said they had never heard of him.

Hamner was a virtual nonentity in both Jedi and galactic political circles. Jedi Masters were often surprised to find him in Luke's office, and sometimes he was even escorted off the premises and thrown into jail, until he was able to produce the paperwork that proved he was actually a Grand Master.

He got an innocent Arcona hooked on salt when he served him a nice salty nerf-loaf (whoops! my bad). He helped defeat Shimrra by standing outside the Citadel on Yuuzhan'tar and holding Mara Jade's purse. He stood in the background during the battle with the Dark Nest. During the Second Galactic Civil War, he expressed mild condemnation of Darth Caedus along with other platitudes. When Luke Skywalker was exiled by Chief of State Natasi Daala, he took over, despite the fact that no one could quite remember who he was or how he got there. Whenever he would meet with Daala, she assumed he was there to deliver her coffee and morning paper.

This article is called Kenth Hamner. Kenth Hamner has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Kenth Hamner can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Kenth Hamner.

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