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Kitty Witty

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"Yo mama's so fat that she's fat! What the f*ck?"
―Kitty Witty to Darth Cha-Cha
CatHat1

Kitty Witty while practicing Suck-Up-Ism

Episode 3.5: the Description of Kitty Witty Edit

Kitty Witty was from the planet Yomamama, the home-world of the Cat, Kitty, Feline, etc. species. She was brown. Yeah, she was brown. Amazing huh? Anyway, she was the only one of her species to become a Jedi.

Birth and Childhood Edit

Adorable-Cats-Screensaver

Kitty Witty as a baby (don't pay any attention to the "I Love Cats.com thing)

Kitty Witty was born about fifty years before the end of the Galactic-Ultra-Insanely Bloody-Cat,Kitty,Feline,etc.-War on the planet Yomamama. She grew up like all kittens on Yomamama; she had Yo Mama contests! As a child she was shunned from most Yo Mama contests because she, well, sucked. That's right, she sucked at Yo Mama jokes. None of the other kittens wanted to play with her so she studied Jediism (that's how she became a Jedi if you weren't paying attention). Anyway, when she was about fifteen, she left Yomamama and went to SumRandumbPlanit.

The Creation of Suck-Up-Ism Edit

While Kitty Witty studied Jediism on SumRandumbPlanit, she developed a knew Jedi mind trick called Suck-Up-Ism. This trick tricks people into tricking themselves to trick the Suckup into tricking them to do anything they ask. Yeah, I know it's complicated, but deal with it.

Anyway, this mind trick worked surprisingly well, actually. She did it on her teachers, on her classmates, and even on the mailman.

How she met Darth Cha-Cha Edit

One day, as Kitty Witty was walking through the streets of SumRandumbPlanit, people came screaming:

"He's Here!! Waaaaa!! He's Here!!" This surprised Kitty Witty as much as it would surprise you and me. But she wasn't afraid. Actually, she was quite bored so she waited until all the screaming people came rushing buy. After they had all gone she saw HIM. The most terrifying being in all the universe: DARTH CHA-CHA!

"Who the Hell are you?" was the first thing that came out of Kitty Witty's mouth.

Darth Cha-Cha was astonished.

"What?" he said.

"I said, who the hell are you?"

Cha-Cha's soldiers laughed their head off when she said this because they knew what Cha-Cha would do. He pulled out his Skweekee Toy lightsaber and started to fight Kitty-Witty. Much to his surprise, Kitty-Witty pulled out a lightsaber too. They fought and fought until Darth Cha-Cha fell down, dead. Dead tired that is. He'd just got his ass kicked by a cat. Darth Cha-Cha got back on his horse and said:

"Until we meet again, F*ck you Kitty Witty!"

What Happened Next? I'll tell you. Edit

Kitty Witty enlisted in the Cat, Kitty, Feline, etc. army and fought the armies of Darth Cha-Cha for many years until one day, a messenger was sent from Darth Cha-Cha himself. Right when Kitty Witty saw him, she said:

"This! Is! Cata!"

She then kicked him in the chest and broke his rib. The messenger said:

"Oh F*ck!! That really hurts! I mean come on, that hurts like a Mother F****r!!"

The cats cheered on Kitty Witty on and made her their general! Yippee!

The last fight, ever! Edit

Still, Kitty Witty fought for many more years until the battle led to her home planet. Now she was mad. Now she was angry. NOW SHE WAS F*CKIN PISSED!!! How dare they touch her home planet! This time she was going to fight Darth Cha-Cha himself. As the Battle of Yomaopolis raged on, Darth Cha-Cha and Kitty Witty met at Kitty Litter Square and started to fight. But it wasn't lightsaber fighting, it was Yo Mama fighting! Words and insults flew for hours and hours until it was Kitty Witty's turn. She couldn't think of anything so she said this:

"You mama's so fat that she's fat!"

Time stopped. It was the worst Yo Mama comeback ever. Even today, it's the worst insult ever. Anyway, Darth Cha-Cha was so surprised of her stupid joke that he didn't notice Kitty Witty slice his head off. I know it's kind of graphic, but it's the truth. So, in the end, Kitty Witty killed Darth Cha-Cha and the Galactic-Ultra-Insanely Bloody-Cat,Kitty,Feline,etc.-War

Drunkard Party! Edit

When the war ended, Kitty Witty was so happy that she threw a beer party that lasted for twenty years. This party was thrown in Kitty Witty's cellar, and she would often hide in the rafters and wrap herself in smelly, itchy insulation. The party ended when they found Kitty Witty dead from drinking too much beer and dirty as hell from sleeping in a smelly old dark, damp, dank, dungeon of a cellar. Anyway, The End.


RicOlieRight
This article is called Kitty Witty. Kitty Witty has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Kitty Witty can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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