Londo Calrissian
Biographical information

Centauri Prime

Physical description





1.79 m

Hair color

Black and crazy lookin'

Eye color


Chronological and political information
  • Calrissian family
  • The Shadows
Known masters

The Shadows

Known apprentices


"Have I ever told you that you're very cute for a Minbari? This guy's cute, too, in an annoying sort of way. Everybody's cute! Even me. But in purple... I am stunning!"
―Londo Calrissian, drunk and rambling, soon before passing out

Londo Calrissian was a jovial drunken ambassador and distant cousin to Lando Calrissian. He was an outcast of the Calrissian family, posted to a distant space station, where he spent most of his time drinking, gambling and annoying the local constable.

His life changed when a Sith agent named Morden (who looked a lot like Rod Serling) showed up and promised to make him the most powerful man in the Galaxy. Londo then started committing random genocide throughout the galaxy, ordering wholesale slaughter of various species like the Narn, Minbari, Drazi, and other races you've never seen in Star Wars because Londo killed them.

His life grew stranger and stranger, as he became tormented by nightmarish visions of a great hand reaching out of the stars and giving him the middle finger. Eventually, he became Emperor of the Galaxy (after an interim reign as Imperial Regent by his gay interior designer). A few years later he was strangled to death by Ambassador Tomalak of Romulus, who then died of lung cancer. He was succeeded on the throne by Flounder from Animal House.

This article is called Londo Calrissian. Londo Calrissian has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Londo Calrissian can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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