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Biographical information

The Original Donkey Kong Game


The Origi—wait a minute, I just told you in the homeworld box


Darth Vader

Physical description




Hair color


Eye color


Personal shit
Butt buddies
Asshole enemies

Everyone who wants to destroy your planet


Red, now that he is not a Sith

Forms of ass-kickery


Chronological and political information

The Super Smash Brotherhood

"It's Mario with the red outfit and he's looking at us. He has a red lightsaber."
Darth Obvious

Mario was a Human plumber, founding member of The Super Smash Brotherhood, and worldwide phenomenon (doo-doo-doo-doo-doo) since 1981. Mario was friends with Jax Pavan 16 and Jax Pavan 64. He was a capable pilot in a P-wing. He ate the same kind of mushrooms that powered up B2 super battle droids, which is not to say that they were the kind that made you see things that weren't there. In search of mushrooms, he spent a great deal of time on Felucia, a mushroom-rich world with many levels, including grassy plain, cloud, underwater and underground pipe environments. Mario also sometimes ate the Super Leaf, causing him to sprout a raccoon tail like the raccoon battle droids.

Jedi PowersEdit

Mario was discovered by Darth Squidward when the Sith Lord was playing games. The twelve characters, including Mario's evil clone Wario, formed The Super Smash Brotherhood.

Samus' Dirty Little SecretEdit

The first day of the brotherhood, Mario kicked out fellow member Samus because she was a female. He found this out by spying on her in the shower. Then he gave her a Wookiee-Nookie and stuck her in a castle somewhere. In Mario's patriarchal world, women belong in castles.


Grand theft mario

Mario fighting back after Luigi's death.

Mario met his hand, when

Darth Vader, having the location of his base told by Sonic, PWNed the Brotherhood, except for Darth Pikachu. Luigi was murdered by Vader and a squad of stormtroopers in front of Mario, who became enraged and rushed at them with blasters in each hand. Mario was the last of the Brotherhood to die.

This article is called Mario. Mario has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Mario can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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