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Mel Assas

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Mel Assas was a Jedi Master who perfected the "Drunken Method" and was known for his wide variety of sexual innuendos to young Padawans, and was kicked out of the Jedi Academy on Ossus when they found out he liked to collect holo-images of undressed alien males. He could be easily recognized because he was always drunk and carried multiple bottles of Corellian ale.

BiographyEdit

This was to be the first reference of perversion in Star Wars Expanded Universe, if this Sissy Side of the Force Master would make it to the Prequel Trilogy. Which it did not... Instead they picked Anakin, also a sissy, but not a drunk...

Mel Assas became addicted to Corellian ale and mastered the art of the Drunken Jedi... Eventually the same art that threw him to the unknown regions (by accident) while getting lost in his ship, the Super Wide Cosmic Cab. Hard to park, fast enough... It was there that Assas fought the Gaylord of the Faioozas but was Subdued to his might and perfume and became his apprentice.

Later in life he went to rehab, nobody knows, or cares, if he succeeded. It is rumored that Obi-Wan Kenobi was his disciple, but no one really cares.


RicOlieRight
This article is called Mel Assas. Mel Assas has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Mel Assas can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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