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Millennium Falcon

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Millenium falcon
Millennium Falcon
Production information
Model

hunk of Junk

Technical specifications
Maximum acceleration

Incredible

MGLT

Incredible

Maximum speed (atmosphere)

extremely fast

Main computer

Schizophrenic

Crew
Usage
Role(s)

Fastest piece of shit in the galaxy

Retired

when Han Solo does never

Present for battles/events

a helluva lot

Known owner(s)

Han Solo

Known commander(s)

again, Han Solo

Registration number(s)

5<200 )Abravo12+31

"She's the fastest piece of shit in the galaxy, kid."
Han Solo
"You'll need all the help you can get. She's the fastest shit in the fleet."
Han Solo, to Lando Calrissian

The Millennium Falcon was a hunk of junk that could make the Kessel run in more than 12 parsecs--or something like that. It consisted of 40% plastic, 20% random bits of steel, 10% machine guns, 15% paper, 3% Chewie hair caught in crevices, and the rest was airfix leftovers as well as a mysterious surplus 41% post-consumer waste. There was no toilet on board, a testament to its speed. It could blow up about 12 Star destroyers, and 2800 TIE Defender and TIE fighters in 2 hours without scratches . It fell apart after fighting in too many battles 50 years after Return of the Jedi.

RicOlieRight
This article is called Millennium Falcon. Millennium Falcon has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Millennium Falcon can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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