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Nando's

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Nando's Edit

RicOlieRight
This article is called Nando's. Nando's has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Nando's can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
Nando's is a popular chain of restaurants that has expanded to several planets across the galaxy. Well known for it's mass supply of cheeky banter and witty antics, Nando's has become a well known location for several young Jedi padawans with shit haircuts and over priced iPhones.

Popularity Edit

Ever since it's mass source of endless banter and cheeky vibes were first discovered, Nando's popularity has done nothing but increase. Lads from every inch of the galaxy steal their mothers shitty spaceships in order to make a quick stop at the local Nando's for their sweet chicken sauce and top notch bants.

It won the intergalactic restuarant awards 20 year in a row, blowing all the lesser-tier competitors out of the water. Then again, when most restuarants these days actually try and sell shit like 'roast bantha testicle', maybe there isn't much comeptition. 

Origin Edit

Just before the start of Clone Wars, a lone adventure known as Chewkok Numdik came across an unidentified planet while on his way to Naboo. Due to a shortage of fuel, Numdik was forced to make an emergency landing on this planet. The planet in question was noted as being extremely unusual, as Numdik described the atmosphere of the planet as being rather strange. The planet had the odor of over sprayed Linx and cheap aftershave, and the floor surface of the planet was soaked ankle deep in intense ball sweat.

Numdik further explored the planet in hopes of discovering any signs of life, and soon came across the local natives. The natives were described as being overly ripped on the upper half, only wearing tank tops so they could constantly show of their flexing muscles. they were also an odd shade of orange, possibly from mass usage of fake tan. Numdik described them as being "The biggests cunts ever".

Numdik made a request for fuel, only for the natives to refuse, insisting that they he use a much more useful source of fuel. Confused, Numdik reluctantly accepted this mysterious source of fuel. All of the lads on the planet instantly began flexing their muscles simultaneously while insulting each others mothers. Soon a strange purple beam of energy erupted from the floor and hit the ship, leaving it in a fully powered state. The Lads explained that their banter levels were so high that it was capable of powering machinery. Amazed, though extremely mind fucked, Numdik demanded to know how such high levels of banter could be generated. The lads explained it was through enduring cheeky sessions at the sacred religious location known as 'Nando's'. Numdik borrowed the sacred recipes from the planet and soon departed, where he left to soon start his own chain of restaurants.

Legacy Edit

It's not easy to describe the impact Nando's has had on the galaxy since it's introduction. Before we were introduced to the true cheekiness of this godlike resturant, many people were certain that most human lads woud rapidly die out due to hunger and banter withdrawl.

The chain has expanded so much that there was even a Nando's located on the Deathstar, before it blew the fuck up. Darth Vador himself even admitted that Nando's was absulute quality, and not at all mingin'. Even a cold hearted, evil motherfucker like The  Emperor said that the chicken was absoulute bangin' and that he would definitely give it another go if he ever lifted his lazy, old ass of his chair ever again. 

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