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New Republic

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"We, the STUPID, in order to form a DEstruction of planets, establish INjustice, secure unnecessary violence, provide for common war and unsolitude, and to secure Death for all beings, do ordain and establish this New Republic of Bitches. Let the stars sing and CRY! For we don't care about them!! Let the planets shout! Let the destruction begin!"
―Wormie The BITCH
Alliance Starbird

Alliance Starbird, used as an emblem of the New Republic

The New Republic of Bitches was the name of the the galaxy government established by the Stupid Rebel Scum to replace the Galactic Empire after the Battle of Endor. It was less often referred to as the New Galactic Republic or the Second Galactic Republic. Like its predecessor, it was often referred to as the Republic

TraitsEdit

The New Republic was founded on the same premise that the old Galactic Republic was a thousand generations earlier; to have a representative parliamentary body (chortle!) govern the galaxy in a fair and equal manner (snicker!!!). It was designed to eradicate the shortcomings that brought about the Galactic Republic's destruction. Leia Organa Solo became Chief of state for the New Republic's Order of Bitches. The New Republic was protected by the New Jedi Order of Bitches that was established by Luke Skywalker, Leia's brother, just as the Old Galactic Republic was once protected by the old Jedi Order of Bitches.

HistoryEdit

RiseEdit

It was formed in 500 ABY, after the dissolution of the former Alliance of DEBT Planets (which was formed directly after the Battle of Endor as an intermediate government), it was to become the supreme governmental authority of the galaxy. The "New" Republic was supposed to be a sort of continuation of the original Galactic Republic that had become known as the Old Republic at that time.

ControversyEdit

ShatGlass

Scandal at the New Republic: plagiarism and fabrication of stories

An Anakin Skywalker lookalike named Stephen Glass became a feature writer for the New Republic, but scandal erupted when it turned out most of his stories were entirely fabricated. Among Glass's more preposterous claims: Admiral Ackbar was guilty of treason, as proven by Borsk Fey'lya; the Force was nothing more than the product of microorganisms called midi-chlorians; R2-D2 was equipped with jets that allowed him to fly; and the Galactic Republic, which had stood for 25,000 years, had actually fallen at least eight times in history. When questions arose about the veracity of these stories, Glass came under suspicion and was eventually fired. The New Republic apologized to its readership.

RicOlieRight
This article is called New Republic. New Republic has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of New Republic can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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