Pants Wars Episode II: Pants of the Clones

Darth Lucas


Darth Lucas


Darth Lucas

Music by

The Singing Tarkin


Darth Lucas


3264 BBY


5000 years








Darth Lucas Era

Followed by

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Pants


A decade after the events of The Phantom Pants, the Galactic Pantspublic is in crisis. A |sepantist movement secretly led by former Jedi Count Pantsku is threatening the pants, causing the Galactic Pants to debate a Evil Walking Pants Creation Act to form a standing army for the Republic's protection. Senator Pantsmé Amidala, former Queen of Pantsboo, returns to Coruslacks to vote against the Act, even though there are no longer enough Jedi to maintain peace and justice in the galaxy.

Upon her arrival on Coruslacks, she narrowly escapes an assassination attempt that claims the life of her decoy, Pocket Woman. As a result, Supreme Chancellor Pantsatine requests that Jedi Only-Wan Pocketonmypants and his apprentice, Pantskin Skywalker protect her.

That night, the assassin Pants Wesell makes another attempt on Amidala's life, though the Jedi are able to foil her plot. They pursue her through Pants-Obsessed City, though she is killed by a saberants, fired by a mysterious "20 pairs of pants man", before the Jedi can learn the name of her employer. Returning to the Jedi Pants Temple, Only-Wan is given a new assignment by the High Pants Council; to track down the assassin's killer. Meanwhile, Pantskin continues his assignment of protecting the Senator, and is asked to escort her back to her home planet of Pantsboo. Pantskin welcomes the opportunity, as he often becomes angry and frustrated by Only-Wan's criticism, and is glad to have an opportunity to be on his own. Further, he has become infatuated with Pantsmé, and relishes the chance to spend time with her. Associate Pants Representative Jar Jar Pants assumes the Senator's duties in her absence.

During the investigation, Only-Wan is led to a mysterious planet called Kaslacko—missing from the Pants Archives—where he discovers a secret Grand Army of the Pants being developed for the Republic. The Only-Wan gets chased by Jango Pants to Geopantsis

On Geopantssis, Obi-Wan overhears a meeting between Count Pantsku and the leaders of the commerce guilds, and learns that they are behind the separatist movement and have built up a Separatist Droid Pants Army. He also learns that it was Nude Gunray who ordered the assassination of Amidala, as revenge for the defeat of the Trade Federation at the Second Battle of Pocket Tears. Only-Wan transmits his findings to the Council, though he is surrounded by pantseka's and captured before he can finish his report.

Later, there is a big battle of pants. The Jedi Pants win, and Pantsku escape. Pantskin has one pocket now.

This article is called Pants Wars Episode II: Pants of the Clones. Pants Wars Episode II: Pants of the Clones has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Pants Wars Episode II: Pants of the Clones can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.