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|Chronological and political information|
Piglet, sometimes referred to as Piglett, was the only son of Miss Piggy. Conceived via the Force by Darth Darth Binks upon the request of Piggy after her husband Kermit was brutally murdered by HK-47, Piglet's youth was difficult. After many years of closely watching over Piggy and her son, Darth Darth Binks killed the woman in an attempt to claim Piglet as his own and train him in the ways of the Force. Fortunately for Piglet, the boy was able to escape and live on his own within the cruel streets of Mos Eisley working as a pimp. At the age of ten, his ho ran off with another pimp and he was out of a job.
Seeking shelter in a nearby cave during a sandstorm, Piglet met his "father" Kermit one night, albeit a Force ghost. Convincing him he was the sacred Pig'ari, an ancient prophecy of a pig with amazing powers ending the pig slavery, Piglet joined forces with Kermit and agreed to be trained in the ways of the Force. This proved unfortunate for Kermit as Piglet also joined forces with Kermit's killer, HK-47, and killed the frog with his super-duper-ultra-amazing-super-duper-times-two weapon, the saw of doom.
The pig-droid combo would destroy countless planets with unparalleled carnage and bloodshed. Unfortunately, Piglet's only apprentice, Darth Donger, accidentally stabbed the pig, putting an end to his reign of terror.
After Kermit fled from the hands of Sesame Street, the frog became the love slave of Miss Piggy, the Gamorrean Queen of Tatooine, as well as becoming the friend of Gonzo, Miss Piggy's bodyguard. As Kermit began falling in love with Piggy, Gonzo realized he shared the same feelings as Kermit and loved her, as well. As Piggy and Kermit were later wed, Gonzo was thrown over the edge and began planning his revenge to have Piggy as his own. The bodyguard hired the droid bounty hunter, HK-47 to exterminate Kermit. Barging in Piggy's room, HK-47 found Kermit in bed with Piggy doing it. The droid used a vibroblade to make frog legs, as Kermit's final words before death were, "It's... not easy... being... green..." The frog became one with the Force. Piggy was distraught. She attempted to kill Gonzo, but he managed to survive the wrath of Piggy without the queen knowing. Heartbroken, Miss Piggy turned to Darth Darth Binks who used the Force to impregnate her. This resulted in the conception of her one and only child, Piglet.
Piglet was born to Miss Piggy on Tatooine nearly a year after the death of Kermit. Pushed by his mother at a young age to become the greatest Jedi or Sith of all time, he wandered the dunes of his home world, endlessly looking for the answers to his questions. His questioning was cut short upon find his mother dead at the hands of his creator, Lord Binks. After Binks chased him with a butter knife for several hours, Piglet was able to escape and live on the streets of Mos Eisley for years to come.
Pimpin' da hosEdit
Piglet soon found a job working as a pimp as an aged Jolee Bindo taught him everything he needed to know. He would then switch positions with Jolee Bindo (har, har, har!) as the old coot then became Piglet's ho. Bindo would do anything the pig
requested demanded for years to come. Then that ho traded Piglet out and suddenly, Bindo wasn't Piglet's ho no mo'. Out of a job, Piglet found himself wandering the same dunes, searching for answers as he had done years before.
Prophecy of the Pig'ariEdit
While searching for answers one night, a sandstorm approached, forcing Piglet to seek shelter in a nearby cave. To his astonishment, Piglet found the Force ghost of the long dead Kermit. There, the frog told the young boy about his true origins and foretold to him the prophecy of the Pig'ari, an ancient prophecy of a young pig who would put an end to pig slavery. What Piglet didn't realize was that pig slavery had ended several thousand years prior. While hesitant at first, the young boy agreed to become the apprentice of Kermit and was quickly sent out on his first mission.
After the sandstorm had passed, Piglet traveled to the world Mandalore were he would construct one of the greatest weapons of all time with help from weapons aficionado, Jesus. The saw of doom was born. With his new weapon, he traveled to Alderaan under the orders of his master and assassinate his mother's killer, Darth Darth Binks. While there, he was to also kill hundreds of hippies as a side-project. Unbeknown to the boy, he was closely being observed by none other than the killer of Kermit, HK-47. After meeting, the two found that they liked each others style of killing and quickly formed an alliance as the most deadly bounty-hunter/mass-murdering duo alive, The Duo of Death. Using the saw of doom, Piglet was amazingly able to kill the Force ghost of Kermit. That just goes to show how wimpy the frog was. I mean, the dude actually got killed while he was already dead. If you look up the definition of wimpy in the dictionary, I bet they show an image of Kermit. **snort** Anyway...
The Duo of Death - Piglet's deathEdit
After teaming up, the duo would cause mass panic throughout the galaxy as the unofficial enforcers of their own beliefs. They were almost as feared as much as God, even! Piglet took on another young man as his apprentice and trained him in the ways of the Force, just as Kermit had briefly done. After several days of training, Darth Donger arose as the next big Sith in the galaxy. Unfortunately, he was a complete drunk idiot who accidentally stabbed Piglet during his first mission. Not only that, he decapitated poor HK-47. Darth Donger took over the Duo of Death as its sole member and the galaxy stopped fearing the duo.
Powers and abilitiesEdit
- "This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy stayed at home, and this little piggy will stick his arm down your throat and play piano on your ribs!"
- ―Piglet, just before he mutilated a hippie
Being conceived via the Force by Darth Darth Binks, Piglet was extremely Force-sensitive. Though he never fully trained his skills since there was no force in the galaxy that would oppose him, Piglet did pass down his few teachings to his apprentice, Darth Donger, who would later kill Piglet. Many have debated whether Piglet could PWN Darth Elmo in a battle or not. However, we will never have an answer to this as Elmo died several years before the birth of Piglet. We all knew he could pwn his dad though....
Behind the scenesEdit
- In Canadian, Piglet means "One who ate Pizza."
- In French, Piglet is the term for Rapist.
- In German, Piglet means "Ugly bastard"
- In Russian, Piglet means "Obssessed with Booze."
- In Native American Algonquian, Piglet means "evil that devours."
Piglet was boarding a ship with one pornographer when suddenly loadsa piranhas that had been slumbering deep underground woke up suddenly and ate everyone, putting an end to that embarrasing situation.