Pope Lando
Biographical information

Earth, Italy




914 A.D.

Physical description





1.77 m

Hair color

Papal fro

Eye color


Chronological and political information

Saeculum Obscurum

Known masters


Pope Lando was a smooth, dashing, sexy pope with a winning smile and an eye for the ladies. Born in the Sabine Hills of Latium, he won the affection of the women in the noble family of Tusculum, especially Lady Theodora and her daughter Marozia. Ooh, cougar and cougar cub, score!

Theodora's family held such political sway, they were rigging papal elections and installing their boyfriends, like Pope Sergius (Marozia's fling). Lando didn't much care for power or God, but when the girl and her hot mama beckoned him into an all-night hot tub session with them and some cheerleader friends of theirs, he woke up the next morning with seven new STDs, a tattoo on his lower abdomen, and he was also the new Pope. He was elected in 913 A.D.

Before Pope Lando, popes tended to dress conservatively, with a red robe and a cap. Lando added exotic furs, a gaudy ring on each finger, gold-encrusted everything... and other popes followed his example. Lando kept the noble ladies swooning for a glorious year and a half. He died in 914, and Theodora's new boyfriend took over as Pope John X. He ruled for 14 years, but then Marozia ordered him killed. Allegedly.

This article is called Pope Lando. Pope Lando has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Pope Lando can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
Emperor Jimbo commands you to see the real article called: Pope Lando.

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