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Cook Kirby

Porcellus at work...wait, isn't he a human?

Porcellus was a cook that served Jabba.

His food tasted like crap, yet for some reason Jabba enjoyed eating it.

I suppose we'll never understand Hutt cuisune...

Now where were we? Ah yes, the reason Porcellus's food tasted so terrible was because it was secretly made of Jabba's feces, as he was too lazy to actually cook something properly.

However Jabba found out that he was eating his own crap and sentenced Porcellus to death. Lucky for him, Jabba got owned before the sentence was carried out.

His assistant was Phlegmin.

This article is called Porcellus. Porcellus has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Porcellus can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Porcellus.

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