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R2-D2
Production information
Homeworld

Nabooboo, Nubia

Manufacturer

Industrial Automaton

Product line

R-series

Model

R2 astromech droid

Class

Astromech droid

Technical specifications
Height

0.96 meters

Gender

Masculine programming

Sensor color

Red

Equipment

You name it, he's got it

Chronological and political information
Era(s)
Affiliation
"What a nice droid. Old, yet functional, with such a personality…"
Deliah Blue

R2-D2 was the droid that never died, capable of producing any needed device out of his trash-recepticle shaped body. He served nearly everyone in the galaxy, and was essentially responsible for everything in the galaxy, because if he hadn't fixed that Nabooboo royal yacht, everything would have gone according to plan, and all that Clone Wars mess and Galactic Empire stuff might never had happened. Luke and Leia would have never been born to save the galaxy either, because Padmé Amidala, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Obi-Wan Kenobi would not have landed on Tatooine to find that squirt Anakin Skywalker, bet on a race, and freed him from slavery. They would, in fact, have all been dead! Then Palpatine would be wondering what the kriff was he going to do next?

But since all of that did happen, R2 was eventually in the service of Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade. He watched them do "it" every night and eventually when they finally managed to do it right, they had a son and were forced to move to a bigger house. Luke said he would move all the stuff himself and that he didn't need any help, but as usual, Luke ended up whining a lot and doing nothing. Luke then had a brilliant idea, he told R2 to move all the stuff to the new house while he sat there, watched R2 move all the stuff and kept telling him he could have done it a lot better himself.

Known GadgetsEdit

R2-D2 had one helluva lot of gadgets inside his squat little torso. So many, in fact, that only a breach in dimensions could account for it. (R2 incorporated TARDIS technology.)

  • Air cannon
  • Air conditioner
  • Arc welder
  • Arc wrench
  • Assortment of cigarras with lighter
  • Barbecue
  • Binders
  • Blender/Food processor
  • Bomb (last resort)
    • Nuclear bomb (ultra-super-mega last resort)
  • Booster rockets
  • Breath mask
  • Brooks Propulsion rocket booster
  • Bug zapper
  • Buzz saw
  • Cable gun/grappling hook
  • Chemical composter
  • Chopsticks
  • Claw arm
  • Cocktail mixer
  • Code cylinders
  • Coffee machine
  • Comb
  • Comlink
  • Confetti launcher
  • Crashmat
  • Credit chip scanner
  • Datacard slot
  • Death Star plans
  • De-ionizer
  • Disc drive
  • Dishwasher
  • "Distracter"
  • Electric pike
  • Electrobinoculars
  • Electroprod
  • Enzymatic converter
  • Fire extinguisher
  • Flags
  • Flare
  • Flea remover
  • Fog machine
  • Fork
  • Fusioncutter
  • Garbage masher
  • Glowrod
  • Gumball dispenser
  • Headdress detangler
  • Heater
  • Heliograph
  • Holoprojector/recorder
    • Skin holo collection
    • (naked) Hologram of Shmi Skywalker (file stolen by Obi-Wan Kenobi)
    • Plaster mould of Anakin Skywalker's penis (stolen by Obi-Wan)
    • Anakin Skywalker's porn collection and personal dildo (stolen by Obi-Wan)
    • Padmé Amidala's porn collection and personal dildo (ALSO stolen by Obi-Wan - what is that guy's problem?)
    • Holographic album of Anakin failing his Jedi potty training (Seen by every Jedi and became the laughing stock at the Jedi Temple. He got very pissed and wanted revenge. This was the real start of Order 66)
R2-D2
  • Hose & pump
  • Hypodermic injector
  • Ice cream maker
  • Inflatable life raft
  • Inflatable mattress
  • Inflatable motel
  • Interference pulse stabilizers
  • Jawa juicer
  • Jawa repellent spray
  • Jet thrusters
  • Jukebox
    • Breakdance mode
    • Karaoke mode (deleted by Han Solo since he can't bear Chewbacca's singing)
  • Kloo horn
  • Knife
  • Lariat
  • Laser Meat Grinder
  • Laser pointer
  • Lego Star Wars minifigures
  • Life-form scanner
  • Lightsabers
  • Manipulator arms
  • Mechanical dildo
  • MedPac
  • Microwave oven
  • Ninja Stars
  • Oil injector
  • Paint sprayer (for graffitti)
  • Parachute
  • Party horn
  • Periscope
  • Pez dispenser
  • Polarity sink
  • Portable bacta tank
  • Printer
  • Propeller
  • Refresher scale (broken by Jabba the Hutt)
  • Sabacc card deck
  • Scomp link
  • Serving tray with drink holders
  • Shock arm
  • Slot machine
  • Smoke grenade launcher
  • Spare parts for C-3PO
  • Spare parts for lightsabers
  • Spoon
  • Surfboard
  • Tent
  • Toaster
  • Toothbrush
  • Toothpick
  • Transcripts of every skin holo
  • Tweezers
  • Twister mat (once again broken by Jabba)
  • Umbrella
  • Vending machine
  • Video display screen
  • Video sensor
  • Water dispenser
  • Weapons rack
  • Whoopie cushion
  • Wire Cutters

See alsoEdit

WookieepediaLogoBouncing
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on R2-D2.

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