R2-D2
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| R2-D2 | |
|---|---|
| Biographical information | |
| Physical description | |
| Species | |
| Gender | |
| Height |
0.6 meters (or somethin' like dat) |
| Cybernetics |
You name it, he's got it |
| Chronological and political information | |
| Affiliation | |
- "What a nice droid. Old, yet functional, with such a personality..."
- ―Deliah Blue
R2-D2 was the droid that never died, capable of producing any needed device out of his trash-recepticle shaped body. He served nearly everyone in the galaxy, and was essentially responsible for everything in the galaxy, because if he hadn't fixed that Nabooboo royal yacht, everything would have gone according to plan, and all that Clone Wars mess and Galactic Empire stuff might never had happened. Luke and Leia would have never been born to save the galaxy either, because Padme Amidala, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Obi-Wan Kenobi would not have landed on Tatooine to find that squirt Anakin Skywalker, bet on a race, and freed him from slavery. They would, in fact, have all been dead! Then Palpatine would be wondering what the kriff was he going to do next?
But since all of that did happen, R2 was eventually in the service of Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade. He watched them do "it" every night and eventually when they finally managed to do it right, they had a son and were forced to move to a bigger house. Luke said he would move all the stuff himself and that he didn't need any help, but as usual, Luke ended up whining a lot and doing nothing. Luke then had a brilliant idea, he told R2 to move all the stuff to the new house while he sat there, watched R2 move all the stuff and kept telling him he could have done it a lot better himself.
[Edit] Known Gadgets
R2-D2 had one helluva lot of gadgets inside his squat little torso. So many, in fact, that only a breach in dimensions could account for it.
- Chicken-fried steak cooker
- Surf board
- Narcotics injector
- Rusted harpoon
- Blast-furnace
- Hologram
- Brass-plated telescope
- Tazer
- Heliograph
- Bubble-gum launcher
- Smoke grenade launcher
- Chainsaw
- Slugthrower
- Parachute
- KillBlaster
- Oboe
- Tuba
- Trumpet
- Saxophone
- Guitar
- Drums
- Rubber galoshes
- Computer poking thing
- Bug zapper
- Fire hose
- Inflatable motel
- Soviet Union flag
- Mechanical dick
- Vending machine
- Coffee maker
- Plasma screen TV
- Jukebox
- 5 cup holders
- Water dispenser
- Printer
- Jawa repellent spray
- Martini bar
- Bathroom scale (broken by Jabba the Hutt)
- Twister mat (once again broken by Jabba)
- Gumball dispenser
- Spray paint (for graffiti)
- Bomb (for last resort)
- Barbecue
- Computer
- Weapons rack (including 100 types of pistols, 50 types of machine guns, an RPG, a knife, sword, axe, spear, flail, club, pepper spray, paintball gun, spare lightsaber and hand grenades)
- spare parts for C-3PO
- spare parts for lightsabers
- 5 lightsaber holders
- Steroids syringe dispenser (frequently used by jedi)
- Pez dispenser
- Air conditioner
- Pinball machine
- Camera
- Trash compactor
- Dishwasher
- Lottery machine
- ATM
- Slot machine
- Nintendo Wii
- Computer projector
- Xbox 360
- PS2 and PS3
- Oil
- Assortment of Cuban Cigars
- Transcripts of every sex tape
- Picture of Anakin Skywalker's moon (stolen by Obi-Wan)
- Plaster mould of Anakin Skywalker's dick (stolen by Obi-Wan)
- Anakin Skywalker's personal dildo (stolen by Obi-Wan)
- Padmé Amidala's personal dildo (ALSO stolen by Obi Wan - what is that guy's problem?)
- Photo album of Anakin failing his
Jedipotty training (Seen by every Jedi and became the laughing stock at the Jedi temple. He got very pissed and wanted revenge. This was the real start of Order 66) - Karaoke machine (Destroyed by Han Solo since he can't bear Chewbacca's singing)
- Lego Star Wars minifigures
- White flag
- Tent supplies
- Portable bacta tank
- Ice cream maker
- Sno Cone maker
- Fog machine
- Whoopie cushion
- Nuclear bomb (ultra-super-mega last resort)
- Toothbrush
