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Sand People

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"Those Tuskens walk like men, but they're vicious, fuck ugly monsters."
―Cliegg Lars
"URRK! URRRRRK! URK URK URK RUKGH!!!"
―Anonymous Sand Person many, many times
"OOJEEI OOM JAPATA ATEEPEE HAPITY APITY YA!!!"
―A pissed off Jawa on Sand people

Sand People were a germophobic race of sentient silicon-based humanoids native to Tatooine. Despite a reputation for engaging elaborate philosophic dialogs, they only spoke in gargles and grunts to outsiders. Sand People wore sack-cloth robes and frequently showered themselves in ashes leading some ethnologists to theorize that they were in mourning. However, when approached to learn the truth of this, Sand People would run them over with turbo-charged banthas.

They were known to torment their captives with Sand people torture. It has been theorised many times that Sand People are in fact gay because all anyone ever hears out of their creepy faces is a really donkey-ass scream. You'd think they were getting raped or something. Undoubtedly though, they're greatest failure came when they were scared off by *sigh* some crazy old dude, they ran like pussies.

[Edit] Behind the scenes

  • Darth Vader pwnd a bunch of Sand People once because they Yo Mama'd his mama.
  • If you switch the first letter of "Tuscan" and the first letter of "Raiders" the product is "Ruscan Taders."

[Edit] Sources

  • Encyclopedia Britannia: Vol. 32
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