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Sand People

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Sand People
Planet of origin

Tatooine

Height of average adult

1.8 to 1.9 m

Eye color

I dunno, they wear masks

Distinctions

They're like animals

RicOlieRight
This article is called Sand People. Sand People has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Sand People can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
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Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Sand People.
"URRK! URRRRRK! URK URK URK RUKGH!!!"
―Anonymous Sand Person many, many times

Sand People, or Tusken Raiders (yes, they all raided at some point in their lives), were a germophobic race of sentient silicon-based humanoids native to Tatooine. Despite a reputation for engaging elaborate philosophic dialogs, they only spoke in gargles and grunts to outsiders. Sand People wore sack-cloth robes and frequently showered themselves in ashes, leading some ethnologists to theorize that they were in mourning. However, when approached to learn the truth of this, Sand People would just rip their heads clean off with their spear thingies and then raid the ethnologists' landspeeder for spare parts.

They were known to torment their captives with Sand People torture. It has been theorized many times that Sand People are in fact gay because all anyone ever hears out of their creepy faces is a really donkey-ass scream. You'd think they were getting raped or something. Undoubtedly, though, their greatest failure came when they were scared off by *sigh* some crazy old dude, they ran like pussies. Later that week, they came back, and in greater numbers, but it was too late to save face.

Darth Vader pwnd a bunch of Sand People once because they Yo Mama'd his mama. And besides, he hated sand.

Notable Sand PeopleEdit

Behind the scenesEdit

If you switch the first letter of "Tuscan" and the first letter of "Raiders" the product is "Ruscan Taders."

SourcesEdit

  • Encyclopedia Britannia: Vol. 32
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