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Santa Claus

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Santa Claus was the lazy evil dictator of the North Pole that got his job near the beginning of time. He was known as the fat guy with a beard that dressed in white and red who likes cookies by the children until the name Santa Claus was popularized. The parents of the children took the word ‘’Santa’’ from the word Satan and moved the letter ‘n’ because they believed that it never goes at the end of a word, while Claus was a common misspelling of the word Claws. He also started the Candy Cane Wars and killed the Easter Bunny

Sudden RealizationEdit

As people and aliens multiplied in the universe he realized that he was too lazy to deliver children presents himself. So he searched the universe for aliens that would be willing to make him an army to deliver presents while he played cards and board games with himself while gorging himself with cookies and drinking orange juice all year. Unfortunately he could not find the aliens he was looking for, and was forced to the planet, Kamino. He discussed his plans with the Kaminoans of creating an army to carry out his plans when he realized that he was not about to get the army that he requested. He was forced to threaten the Kaminoans and told them that he would never bring their children gifts again. The Kaminoans gave in to Santa’s wishes and began experimenting with cloning which they eventually perfected after many years of research.

SantaCloneGoneWrong

After the first several unsuccessful batches, they finally successfully created an army to deliver gifts to children for Santa.

Another Sudden RealizationEdit

After his army was shipped to the North Pole by the Kaminoans, Santa realized that he needed more employees to create and years later, to order toys from other manufacturers. He began searching the galaxies of the universe for workers and found a Rodian and a Jawa which he took to the Kaminoans. They took the DNA from the two hosts and merged and cloned them creating, what children of today call, Santa’s Elves.

Cookie’s and Orange JuiceEdit

Santa, finally got his new army on the North Pole just in time for them to began work for Christmas. He finally got back to his hobby of playing cards and board games with himself while gorging himself with cookies and drinking orange juice. He has been doing this for thousands of years and has not gotten sick of it… yet.


RicOlieRight
This article is called Santa Claus. Santa Claus has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Santa Claus can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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