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Savage Opress

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Biographical information
Homeworld

Dathomir

Born

A long time ago

Died

Not soon enough

Physical description
Species

Iridonian

Gender

Male

Height

1.89 m

Eye color

Yellow

Chronological and political information
Era(s)

No where outside that kiddy show

Affiliation

Nightsisters

Known masters
RicOlieRight
This article is called Savage Opress. Savage Opress has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Savage Opress can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
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Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Savage Opress.
"ME SMASH! ME NOT VERY GOOD. ME KINDA LIKE THE ROGER CLINTON OF THE MAUL FAMILY."
―Savage Opress

Savage Opress, a.k.a. Violent Ingress, was Darth Maul's steroid-abusing dumber brother, a Zabrak loser who grew up with the Nightbrothers on the male side of Dathomir... which nobody had ever talked about in the Expanded Universe before, but that's another story. For no apparent reason, Savage pronounced his name Suh-VAAJ and insisted everybody call him that. This ended up causing a lot of fights in Savage's youth, almost all of which he lost, because he was kind of a wimp.

Asajj Ventress (who pronounced her name ASS-idge) stopped by Dathomir because Count Dooku had renounced women and rejected her as an apprentice, so she was seeking revenge. She hoped to recruit a bad-ass apprentice like Darth Maul... who managed to kill one Jedi before dying, so really, expectations were already set pretty damn low for Savage Opress to begin with. Ventress chose Savage out of a group of a dozen namby-pamby Zabraks from their Amy Tan book reading and drum-circling club.

In order to transform Savage from a worthless weakling into an actual Sith, Mother Talzin, the leader of the Nightsisters, exposed him to Gamma Radiation... I mean, uh, Nightsister Force sorcery, or something (no, it was Gamma Radiation) turning him into The Incredible Sith, The Red Hulk. He bulked up, tore his purple pants, and shouted, "SAVAGE SMASH!" One of the Nightsisters said, "But your name is pronounced Suh-VAAJ, isn't it?" He shouted back, "SAVAGE CRUSH PEDANTIC NIGHTSISTER!" and ripped her head off.

Ventress assigned the now invincibly strong Savage Opress to go and infiltrate Dooku's organization, then betray and kill him. Savage was a little vague on the details. "ME NO SMASH FIRST, THEN SMASH LATER... WHEN HE SLEEPING." In the end, surprise of surprises, he failed in his mission. Bitter and broken, he decided to seek out his smarter, stronger, better-at-everything brother Darth Maul... who was still alive! Wow! Wait, no, no. Actually, he decided to find the Abomination, the Leader, and MODOK.

Meanwhile, Savage Opress had a much more interesting sister, Sexual Tigress. Now, why couldn't we get a Clone Wars episode about her? His other sister Savage Oprah went on to become a successful overweight talk show host.

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