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Showdown of Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, and Emperor Bob Barker

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The ultimate showdown between Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, and Emperor Bob Barker aboard the second Death Star.



Barker-showc1
We're back! And heading into our showcase today LUKE is in the lead! <applause>



Luke-showc1
<nod>



Barker-showc1
And! Our runner-up is Lord VADER! <applause>



Vader-showc1
<rasp rasp>



Barker-showc1
And as the leader, Luke, you can choose to pass or bid on our FIRST SHOWCASE. Rod?



Roddy-showc1
Bob, our first showcase contains prizes reVEALED as we follow the lovely Guri on her next suspenseful MISSION!



Guri-showc
<applause>



Roddy-showc1
It's a new BEDROOM GROUP!



Luke-showc2
<sigh>



Bedroom-showc
You'll sleep your way to the top of the Black Sun criminal organization in this queen-size canopy bed. Plus mahogany hope chest, wardrobe, and droid recharge slot. From Broyhill! Okay Bob!



Luke-showc1
... Wait... That's it?



Barker-showc1
LUKE, would you like to bid or pass on this SHOWCASE?



Luke-showc1
<snort> Pass! And besides, I thought we were gonna talk about my father and my destiny and stuff.



Barker-showc1
<genial chuckle> All right, Lord Vader! What is your bid?



Vader-showc2
Uhhh... Uhhhhhh...



Audience-showc
FIVE!TWOOO!HUNDRED!SEVEN!SIXTY!FIIIVE!TWENTY!EIGHTEEN!FIIIVE!RHUBARB!FIFTY!FIIIVE!FIIIIIVE!



Vader-showc1
...One credit, Bob!



Barker-showc1
...



Audience-showc
NO!! NO!!



Barker-showc1
I wonder if your feelings on this matter are clear, Lord Vader.



Vader-showc1
That's my final answer, my master.



Barker-showc1
<head shake> All right, Luke, let's take a look at YOUR showcase!



Deena-showc
Our second showcase follows the lovely Deena as she infiltrates a stronghold of the evil GALACTIC EMPIRE!



Barker-showc1
Hey!



Roddy-showc2
Aw Bob, you know I don't write this stuff!



Barker-showc1
Just cut to the prizes or I'll report you to the Imperial Bureau of Flamboyance Suppression.



Roddy-showc1
...!



Barker-showc1
You know I'll do it, Sequin-Boy.



Roddy-showc1
Well, ah, okay Bob, um... Okay, there's a trip to Denon, uhhh, a sampler of fine Corellian ales... ah, here we go:



NEWCAR
IT'S A NEW AIRSPEEDER! <applause>



Luke-showc2
<knowing nod>



Barker-showc1
Luke, what is your bid on your showcase?



Luke-showc1
Two credits.



Barker-showc1
Gah! Vader, you dolt.



Vader-showc1
Whaaat?



Barker-showc1
Forget it, forget it. Normally we'd go to break here, but I think the winner is obvious... <sigh> Luke gets the friggin' showcase...



Audience-showc
<applause>



Barker-showc1
Shut the hell up!! Anyway, I'm Emperor Bob Barker, commanding you to help control the Jedi population; have your apprentice spayed or neutered.



Vader-showc1
Hey!


RicOlieRight
This article is called Showdown of Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, and Emperor Bob Barker. Showdown of Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, and Emperor Bob Barker has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Showdown of Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader, and Emperor Bob Barker can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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