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One bite draws blood, blood draws the pack
A disappointingly short twenty-four hours
English, some piranha
Sith 3D, is the twelfth movie in the Star Wars franchise and is the beginning of the series' New Era.
On the non-existent planet of Earth, a fanboy is taking his boat for a ride when an earthquake hits and throws him overboard into the stinkin' water, where he is devoured by piranhas, so lettuce forget about him.
On Tatooine, the only planet in the galaxy, a stripclub is paying host to some Jedi - Mace Windu, some Twi'lek dancers and strippers, a porn-addicted businessman, and a young emo. The young emo meets his girl, Jess Szhor, who comes on to the porn-addict's boat... um... not sure if it's such a good idea...
They go out into the middle of the lake and have sex.
Meanwhile, loads of Jedi come to Stripclub Victoria, the stripclub on Tatooine, for sex. They are not disappointed. Porn Twi'leks dance explicitly. The sex-addicts are having the time of their lives when one of the Twi'leks gets her lips in between Kelly Brook's boobs and (the film becomes X for obvious reasons).
A team of explorers come across a Sith nursery, with loads of Sith hatching. Upon hatching, the Sith eat all the Jedi explorers from the inside out. Such anger, young Skywalker...
Back at the lake, the FUCKING HOTTEST SCENE IN THE MOVIE OCCURS WHEN TWO PORN STARS (TWI'LEKS) GET NAKED AND FUCK IT ALL IN THE LAKE, NAKED. 'Nuff said.
Back at the stripclub, the party-goers are having the time of their lives and the audience is wondering when will the story actually start, when out of nowhere come the Sith and start eating the Jedi party-goers. This livens things up a bit.
The porn stars are both eaten by Sith... sigh... and their director (Jerry) yells as he dies "THEY TOOK MY DICK!"
After a hard-earned chase, the Jedi blow up the Sith but realize the Sith they've killed were only babies. When Stuart R. Mc.Queen asks what happened to the parents, one parent Sith comes out of the water and eats him.
The audience loved it, along with all the fan-service it paid. Especially naked porn scenes.
Obviously, the critics said it was "utterly impossible," that Sith can't lie dormant underground for centuries. Of course critics can always find something to criticize.