Star Wars Episode XX: Independence Day

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Star Wars Episode XX: Independence Day

Stephen Spielberg




Dean Devvy

Music by

David Arnold




Completely canon




After the Post-Post timeline


Anytime after 1996


Many many many decades after the Christ era, the fictional President of the United States picks up a signal from SETI that ancient aliens known as the Twi'leks are heading for Earth. Apparently one of their ships crashed on Area 51, an area in the Nevada Desert which held an alien but which nobody was notified about!?!!! The President is incredulous at not having been notified himself and threatens to kill all his staff. Nice guy.

Anyway, the aliens are landing, or rather, hovering over every major city on Earth, and fangirls are stripping just for the sheer fun of alien rape. The aliens are attacked by a military system employed by - guess what - American government when there is no evidence whether they are evil or not. Likewise, the aliens open fire and blow up all the world's major cities - If some human government set fire to my craft, I'd be pissed, wouldn't you? This black guy's wife survives and the black guy kills an alien by chasing it through the desert and the alien repairs itself and kills a scientist who the President viciously bullied at Area 51. The President loses his wife (he had that one coming) when a male Twil'ek rapes her. The President says "Enough is enough," and he then gives a speech which goes as follows:

Nuclear explosion-1-

The outcome of the President's speech... the aliens quickly lack patience

Today, the aliens will learn that even though they possess far more advanced technology than ours, we will prevail and make the Earth far more of a mess than it already was. Even though we have no idea how to destroy the aliens, we will rip off War of the Worlds and plant a virus into their mothership. Sacrifice wild suicidal redneck pilots and mad dogs alike! We will not sleep, ever! WE ARE THE BULLIES OF THE UNIVERSE AND WE WILL BLOW SHIT UP!

Needless to say, this happens.

Critical reactionEdit

Girls loved Will Smith, nerds loved Bill Pullman and boys loved Lisa Jakub. Everyone loved the Twil'eks.

Nuff said, really. Oh, apart from every scientists' view that this film was implausibly impossible.

This article is called Star Wars Episode XX: Independence Day. Star Wars Episode XX: Independence Day has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Star Wars Episode XX: Independence Day can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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