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The Star Wars soundtrack was composed by John "Gilligan's Island Theme" Williams. Unbeknownst to most fans, Williams wrote lyrics to go along with many of the themes, but never published them. Dedicated and unscrupulous Darthipedia researchers have gone through Williams' garbage to bring you some excerpts of these lyrics.
Star Wars Episode IV: A New HopeEdit
- Main Title: The One With the Buns / Hey, That's a Pretty Weird-Looking Spaces—Oh SWEET MOTHER OF FUCK, HOW BIG IS THAT STAR DESTROYER
- The Rebels Are Goddamn Screwed; Also, Dead
- The Kinda Boring Track That We All Say is Brilliant Anyway 'Cause it's Johnny Will
- The Moisture Farm. Tee-Hee. I Said "Moisture"
- That Bit Where He's Checking Out the Suns an It Goes All Brilliant
- They're Really Elephants With Carpets On
- Alec Guinness Chats on About Nonsense and Stuff
- Crispy Fried Lars
- The One That's Gonna Get a Shite-Load of Unnecessary CGI Added to It in Twenty Years Time. Get That Ronto Out of the WAY!
- Ba-ba ba-ba ba-da-ba, baddle-de-baddle-de-ba-ba, wop-wop-wop. AKA: The Cantina Band
- Leia's Theme, to Be Appreciated Only By the Emotionally Articulate. Everyone Else'll Think it's Just Slow
- The Bit Where Han SAYS He's Gonna Maneuver But Actually Just Flies in a Straight Line for a While
- Destroy your planet Theme
- The Sphere O Fear; n.b. George, consider changing the name, J.W.
- A Whole Lotta Shootin Goin On
- Still More Shootin and Waaaay Too Much Smoke
- The Bit in the Trash Compa—HOLY SHIT, WHAT'S THAT DICK WITH AN EYE ON IT'S RAPING MARK HAMI—Oh, it's Just a Dianoga
- Yep, More Shootin...
- The Bit That Really Isn't as Dramatic as it Should Be Considering Alec Guinness Has Just Joined the Choir Invisible. Also, Shootin
- This One's Nine Minutes Long. And it Fucking ROCKS
- The End Bit. Bleh, I'm Bored of This List Now. Ciao
Princess Leia's ThemeEdit
♫ Iiiii'mm Princess Leiaaaaaaaaa ♫
♫ Aaaand this-ismytheeeeeeme ♫
♫ I wear aaalll whiiiiiite ♫
♫ Sooo white that-I-gleeeeeeeam ♫
♫ I wear MYYY HAAAAAIIIIIRRRR ♫
♫ In CUTE LIT-tle buuuuunnns ♫
♫ I shoot with my guuuun♫
♫ Wasting stormies is fuuuuuuuuun ♫
♫ Myyyy planet's-destroyed-and-I'm-really-annoyed-with-that Mooooooff ♫
♫ This Ruling-through-Fear-is-now-pissing-me-seriously oooooooff ♫
The Imperial March (Darth Vader's Theme)Edit
♫ Hiiiide the chillll-drennn, it's Darth Vader's Theeeeme ♫
♫ Guaaard your laaaa-rynx, it's Darth Vader's Theeeeme ♫
♫ DARTH Vader's THEEEEME iiiis re-pet-i-tive ♫
♫ Don't giiiiive hiiim a sed-a-tive ♫
♫ It wooon't silence Darth Vader's Theeeeeme ♫
The Emperor's ThemeEdit
♫ Emmmmmm-perrrr-ooooorrrr ♫
♫ Paaalll-paaaa-tiiiiiine ♫
♫ Heeeee's an eeee-VIIIILLL guu-uuuuy ♫
♫ Heeeee's not yooooouuuurrrr ♫
♫ Waaaatch OOOOUUUT ooooorrr yoooou'll diiiiiie ♫
♫ Well, weeee've beeeea-ten the baaaaad guuuys ♫
♫ And noooow, we're gonna-get-an-AWAAAARRRRD ♫
♫ But Cheeeeewie isn't-going-to-GEEEEEET ooone ♫
♫ He's just a Maaaaawwwg ♫
♫ Whooo happened to be aboaaaaaard ♫