It's the really big one! In the middle!

"19 km long and no damn bathroom in sight!"
―A stormtrooper aboard a Super Star Destroyer.

Super Star Destroyers were immense vessels that served no purpose but as a giant target. I mean literally, "wtf?!", they were 8 km long and had about 4,000 heavy turbolasers!!! on their mass. What was their so called purpose? Well to be a giant proton torpedo farms for the smaller less agile Rebel fighters, of course. I mean come on?!! Four-fucking-thousand turbolasers and about 100 starfighters could tear these mothers to shreds. They cost about 1 cajillion credits and required an entire planet's gross income to build it. Who was the mastermind of this? Well apparently Darth Vader wanted a bigger ship after the Death Star's destruction. Well 8km of metal and guns were pretty useless. Another good point is that it took like 250,000 people to run the thing which when you think about it, doesn't make sense. About half of the people slack during workdays and during Rebel assaults a majority of them perish. WOOHOO! Yet another fine example of Imperial thinking.

Rogue Squadron, namely Corran Horn, killed a Super Star Destroyer over Thyferra with a few squadrons of fighters, a bunch of old freighters, a wimpy Alderaanian pacifist cruiser, and two Imperial Star Destroyers. Never mind the fact that it had 2,000 turbolasers, 250 concussion missile launchers, 250 heavy ion cannons, 500 point-defense laser cannons, and 40 tractor beams. Rogue Squadron was too good for it.

What was on one of these? Edit

Well, to start off, there were all sorts of entertainment, weapons, necessities, and other useless crap aboard a Super Star Destroyer.

Stormtroopers enjoying the 5-star hotel on a Super Star Destroyer.


  • McDonald's for those high fat diets.
  • Starbuck's every Star Destroyer needs this.
  • Useless metals and about 1.0568 times 10^23 km of wires aboard the ship.
  • Entertainment (hehe)
  • Self Entertainment (LAWLZ!)
  • Wal-Mart
  • China
  • 2 toilets (lolz)
  • 3 5'star hotels equipped with Olympic sized swimming pools.
  • 2000 stalkers lurking in those dark corners.
  • About a hundred thousand little robots that shit nuts and bolts out.
  • Not to mention full Wi-Fi

With the Imperial Fleet Edit

All the Admiral's within the fleet must have had a Super Star Destroyer or STD for short. Simply being about 7 kilometers longer than a normal star destroyer just made the commanders squeal like school girls for this remarkable craft. The STD may have had all these guns, weapons, explosive, ammunitions, and not to mention 1/4 of a million men just sitting in a giant triangle all by themselves. That's right, 250,000 men and no women, some of the moments within the destroyer were happy, others not so good, if you catch my drift.

It had shields but for what, an A-wing crashed into the bridge of one of them and boom there goes about 7 jillion credits. A-wing about 70 credits than a big motherfucking triangle which is 7 jillion credits which is this many 0s, 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. You do the math, what looks bigger? 1 Reb fighter with 1 man killed 250,000 Imperial men with families. Think of the children motherfucker, the children? That Rebel bastard, seriously all of those kids without a father. Shows how heartless the Alliance was. Fuck Ewoks, think of the poor children.

This article is called Super Star Destroyer. Super Star Destroyer has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Super Star Destroyer can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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