Tahiri Veila

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"Nobody molests my son and stays in the Order, you dumb whore!"
Luke Skywalker

Tahiri Veila was raised by Sand People. She married/farted on Anakin Solo when they were twelve as part of a rite of passage. They would have many adventures together, until Anakin died and the Yuuzhan Vong turned Tahiri into "Riina", a pedophile who would eventually be involved with the education of a young Ben Skywalker. After that, Tahiriina was expelled from the Order.

After the Yuuzhan Vong War, Tahiri spent some time alone on Zonama Sekot, with lots and lots of Yuuzhan Vong. We don't know what all she did with them, but we do know that she loves pain, and they love causing it. . .

Later, Tahiri was exiled to Dagobah with Tesar Sebatyne (a big lizard thing) and Lowbacca (a walking dog thing). While we don't know what all she did with them, we do know that they weren't bored. . .

This article is called Tahiri Veila. Tahiri Veila has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Tahiri Veila can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Tahiri Veila.

Later Darth Cadeus found her and screwed around with her mind some. She killed some old guy with Fart Torture when he ordered his ships to attack Cadeus' ships.

Years later, Tahiri was just sitting in her apartment on Coruscant, waiting for the cops to come arrest her for killing the old guy. It took that psycho Daala two years arrest her for some reason.

Tahiri's trial was a sham, and only a couple of her so called friends even cared, or bothered to show up. The prosecution used fake evidence, and was exposed. Even so, Tahiri was found guilty, and sentenced to death. Luckily she was able to escape. . . and promptly surrender to the Empire for some reason.

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