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Targeting Computer Catastrophe

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Targeting Computer Catastrophe


By MoMo6

Chapter 1: "GOD DAMNIT!"Edit

"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!"

Luke screamed into the intercom, as he was high on steroids.

"HURRY UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Luke banged on the keyboard of his targeting computer, shouting out cus words. A rebel pilot immediately responded to Luke's temper tantrum.

"Luke! What the hell is going on?!!"

The only thing Luke could do was scream like a deranged 4 year old. Why is this fucking dick hole calling me? Luke thought

"What the hell do you want?! YOU LACK TITTIN NIPPLE!" Luke asked politely.

"What the hell is going on over there?"

"My FRIGGIN TARGETING COMPUTER IS SLOW LIKE SHIT! I SHOULD OF NEVER USED WINDOWS VISTA"

Luke and some of the other rebel assholes were just in an epic battle in an attempt to make the Death Star go boom. Luke has been having a little trouble with his targeting computer.

"THAT'S IT LUKE! I'M CALLING THAT FAT GUY!"

The other rebel pilot quickly dialed Porkin's number. Meanwhile, Porkins was eating 78 big macs, 364 orders of french fries, 90 super sized popcorn cups, a huge ass chocolate bar, 800 slices of pizza, 34, 890 oreo cookies, 56 Special Bonuses, 4000 trash cans, his mom, and a huge bucket of KFC. All of a sudden, his cell phone rang

"What do you want some random rebel pilot? I'm busy fighting" He answered

"Luke is getting into one of his fits again. Could you calm him down before he fucking breaks open the lid of his X-Wing and kills all of us... again"

Right before Porkins said NO. GO FUCK YOURSELF and continued to eat his pie, a huge ass TIE fighter shot down his X-Wing

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" Porkins cried.

Meanwhile, Luke was attempting to download Windows updates

"HURRY UP!!! I SWEAR THE GOD! I'M GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF FUCKING BILL GATES! I BET HE'S JACKING OFF RIGHT NOW!"

Luke was right. Bill Gates was jacking off at that time. But that's not important right now. We're almost to the new chapter

Chapter 1: "THIS PIECE OF SHIT ISN'T FUCKING WORKING"Edit

Meanwhile, in the Death Star, some Death Star workers were being stupid. All of a sudden, Palpatine walked into the room. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! Most of the workers thought. They thought they would never get to see his ugly face again. Palpatine shoved some pills in his face as his plastic surgery started falling off and said

"Is she ready to fire"

He then noticed that one of the workers was hooked on his PSP. He quickly grabbed the PSP and stepped on that piece of shit until it exploded. The worker then started to cry

"SHUT UP!" cried Palpatine

"Well?" then said Palpatine to some workers who were working on the Superlaser(actually who were watching porn, but were pretending to)

"WELL?"

The two Death Star workers quickly turn around and turn off the porn to pretend their working.

"Sorry sir but, this piece of shit isn't fucking working"

Palpatine then got angry and started to whine"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS PIECE OF SHIT ISN'T FUCKING WORKING"

"Uhhh"

Palpatine quickly beat the shit out of the workers and took over the computer

"THERE! NOW I'M IN CONTROL! I AM GOING TO FUCKING FIRE THIS THING OUT OF MY CROTCH IF THIS THING DOESN'T WORK"

As usual, Palpatine didn't get what he wanted. After going down to Bill Gates' mansion and beating the shit out of him, Palpatine started bawling while banging on the keyboard of his computer!

"HURRY UP!"

Palpatine then got so mad, that he shit out a TIE Fighter. Shortly after, Darth Vader found out that Luke was in the fight. For years he wanted to beat up that asshole.

RicOlieRight
This article is called Targeting Computer Catastrophe. Targeting Computer Catastrophe has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Targeting Computer Catastrophe can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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