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Taun Kiwi

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Kaminoan1
Taun Kiwi
Biographical information
Homeworld

Kamino

Physical description
Species

Kaminoan

Height

Very high...

Hair color

none

Eye color

Big eyes.

Cybernetics

None... he did make a virus that made Kaminoans half Computer...

Chronological and political information
Era(s)

Boring Era

Affiliation
Known apprentices

the Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic Gunship

"It's alive! The Gunship is alive! I did it... I name you... Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic Gunship."
―Taun Kiwi, after "making" the Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic Gunship

Taun Kiwi was a brilliant Kaminoan scientist and the brother of Taun We, he once made a Kaminoan Mutating Virus and a Lethal Jawa killing virus. This virus changed Kaminoans in to weird, half Kaminoan half computer, creatures. When he made it he had no idea what he was going to use it for. A few year later, when he first saw the Republic Gunships, he knew why he had made the virus... he was going to upgrade the Gunships using mutated Kaminoans. He removed most the computers from the Gunship, mutated five Kaminoans, cut them in pieces and put them in the Gunship. The Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic Gunship was born.

BiographyEdit

Early in lifeEdit

Not much is known about Taun Kiwi's early years, we do know that he invented a Kaminoan Mutating Virus that changed Kaminoans in to weird, half Kaminoan half computer, creatures. Although he didn't know what he was going to use it for, he kept the virus hidden from the other Kaminoans because they would not approve the existence of such a thing.

During the Boring Era on Kamino Taun Kiwi locked himself in his laboratory and started experimenting with technology and mutated blood samples. He made several weird weapons and computers using the mutated blood. Because he couldn't mutate other Kaminoans, he mutated his own blood for these tests. While the other Kaminoans were almost bored to death, he kept busy mutating stuff. During the boring years, the other Kaminoans began to suspect that he was crazy. They heard weird sounds coming from his laboratory every day, they began to fear him and his experiments. When Dooku found the planet and ordered the Kaminoans to make a Clone Army for the Republic, Taun We, Taun Kiwi's "normal" sister, was put in charge of Cloning Jango Fett.

Making the Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic GunshipEdit

"I would love to go see those new vehicles... can you show them to me?"
―Taun Kiwi, asking his sister if she can show him the new vehicles

When the Cloning had started, he wasn't allowed to go anywhere near anything that had something to do with the Clone Army because the other Kaminoans feared him. Taun Kiwi used his sister to get close to the new vehicles that were going to be used by the new Clone Army. Taun We was in charge of the cloning, so she had access to the new vehicles. When she showed him the vehicles, he noticed one very awesome vehicle; The Republic Gunship. He asked his sister if he could have one, he wanted to make it even more awesome. He and a team of five other Kaminoan scientists, who weren't afraid of him, started by removing most of the computers from the Gunship. Then Taun Kiwi injected the five other scientists with the Kaminoan Mutating Virus he had invented years ago. He cut the mutated scientists in pieces and put them in the gunship, where the computers used to be. When he started the Gunships engines, something amazing happened. He realized he had achieved the impossible, he had created a Living, Breathing, Talking Gunship. During the tests he found out the gunship could also fly, hover, and... shoot at things... so he named the gunship Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic Gunship. When the Clone Wars started, the Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic Gunship was used all over the Galaxy to fight the separatists.

Making more Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic GunshipsEdit

"He's mutating Kaminoans to make these things?!?"
―The Kaminoans, when they found out what Taun Kiwi was really doing

After the success of the first Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic Gunship the other Kaminoans thought Taun Kiwi was a genius... what they didn't know was that he was indeed a genius, but was also crazy and addicted to mutating stuff. While making more Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic Gunships the other Kaminoans started to notice that every scientist that worked with Taun Kiwi disappeared... When they realized what he was doing with them, they wanted to arrest him. But Taun Kiwi had already fled, he had secretly made a Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Shooting, Escaping, Secret Escape Ship. He had made the ship from a normal Acclamator-class assault ship and was upgraded with over 70 mutated Kaminoans. The ship had everything he needed to continue his experiments, it had a laboratory and a huge supply of sedated Kaminoans. There was even a Cloning Device on the ship. Taun Kiwi had gotten the many Kaminoans by cloning the ones he had used for making the extra Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic Gunships. The other Kaminoans never figured out how Taun Kiwi managed to get this ship, or the Cloning Device.

DisappearanceEdit

After he left Kamino Taun Kiwi disappeared, no one knows where he went. All that we know is that he had enough Kaminoans to make many mutated weird things. There are still many rumors about where he went or what he did. Many people believe he left the galaxy and went to live on a planet far, far away and created a new species of weird aliens.

When the Living, Breathing, Talking, Flying, Hovering, Strafing, Bombing Republic Gunship disappeared years later some geeks thought the Gunship went back to his real master, Taun Kiwi, to help him prepare for invading the Galaxy. But none of this is confirmed, there is no reason to think that Taun Kiwi will one day return and kill us all... I think...

Return and disappearing againEdit

A few years after Taun Kiwi's disappearance the owners of DroidShack™ were looking for an affective way to kill Jawas, so (for some weird reason) they started looking for Taun Kiwi and eventually found him on a planet who's name and location they swore never to reveal. Taun Kiwi, who was in short supply of credits at the time and would practically do anything for credits, traveled to Tatooine with them to make a Lethal Jawa killing virus named "The Lethal Jawa killing virus." After he had created the virus, and provided DroidShack™ with the means of producing the virus, he got 100,000,000 credits and then he left the Galaxy and disappeared again. While the geeks still suspect that he needed the money to help finance his invasion of the Galaxy, no evidence of an imminent invasion has been found, however rumors suggest it is somehow related to Jawas.


RicOlieRight
This article is called Taun Kiwi. Taun Kiwi has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Taun Kiwi can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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