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From Darthipedia, the Star Wars Humor Wiki, currently editing over 582,969,943 articles

• Disney buys rights to Star Wars; Darthipedia characters celebrate their new canonical status.

• G*nk is sighted at K-Mart buying toilet paper with Elvis and JFK!

• Nadyax Pavanman has her 582,797,754th child.

• Emperor Palpatine apologizes profusely to Nuknog radio host Slybaugh Limrush after claiming that "nobody knows more about being a Sith than me, including that Limrush guy."

• The ongoing galactic financial crisis inspires Mace Windu to suicide by leaping from an open window on Coruscant.

• Perennial third-party candidate Jax Pavan received 582,797,753 electoral votes in this year's Coruscant gubernatorial election, resulting in his unexpected defeat by Jax Pavan.

• The starship Malevolence is renamed Happy Freedom Sunshine Ship after testing badly among Separatist focus groups.

• Darth Ipedia is foiled in his sinister plot to destroy all wikis.

• R.I.P. Sam Jackson. He's actually not dead, but based on this image, it looks like God is taking them out from left to right.

• Darthipedia's regular users Bombed the G*nk out of 500 random planets this day to celebrate their birthday.

• JediGear Inc.-brand Action Backpacks manufactured on Druckenwell have been recalled due to their inability to withstand the weight of huttlets.

• Apparently some dumbass gave Anakin Skywalker a padawan, named No Soup-a With-a Buffet. She evidently was not important enough to merit mention in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, but you're going to buy her merchandise anyway, according to Lucasfilm representatives.

• Yahoo have launched a blatant copy of Wookieepedia wiki-esque Star Wars website, complete with highly informative forums and links to the ever law-abiding YouTube.

• Anthony Daniels has been officially cast as C-3PO, R2-D2, HK-999, and Anakin Skywalker in the upcoming Star Wars animated TV series.

• The Energizer Bunny, the one-time rival of Darth Vader, was arrested in his home; he is charged with battery.

• The Original Trilogy has been deemed non-canon.

• Yoda and Vandar Tokare have been retconned into one character, known as Vanda Yodokare.

• At Celebration Europe, someone said that Lucasfilm hopes to produce as many as 4 episodes of the Star Wars live-action TV series.

• Mickey Suttle has been signed by LFL to write a series of books, the first of which is to be called Kaja Sinis and the Goblet of Fire.