- "Ooooaaaa? Poooork! Poooork!"
- ―Teras Kasi war-chant
Teras Kasi was an unarmed martial art of Hutt origin that was used in both combat and sport. Due in part to its simple elegance, but also to promotion by Hutt cultural activists, it became widespread throughout the known galaxy. It was highly effective against Jedi.
Its earliest practitioners, perhaps it creators, were the Hutts of Alderaan who at that time faced discrimination and persecution from the human majority. Forbidden by local laws to bear weapons, the Hutts found in Teras Kasi a means of defense. It was adopted wholeheartedly and urban fight clubs sprang up across the planet. When the Organas, a human aristocratic clan, usurped the Alderaanian throne and intensified the persecutions, certain young Hutts began using it offensively.
Before long the government instigated rioters began to meet such determined opposition that the Royal Alderaanian Army had to be called in to support them. However, because Alderaanians were pacifists there was no Royal Alderaanian Army to call. Instead the Organas hired the Echani.
Since Echani warriors fought in the buff their arrival was met with mixed public feelings. On the one hand, the Echani were the only combat force which Alderaan's tight-fisted Department of Finance would admit to being able to afford. On the other hand, Alderaan's family orientated tourist trade, a major economic power, was hurt — vibroblade and blaster toting starkers patrolling the streets was not the image the industry wanted to send. In the end the problem was solved when the Hutt rebels crushed the Echanis to death.
Teras Kasi sought to use the mass-volume ratio of its practitioners to crush a foe. Because of Hutt physics this was practical and efficient. The basic procedure was as follows:
Relaxed slouching was the proscribed opening stance. This was followed by a steady, plodding advance that was often, but not always, accompanied by roars and bellows. Once within striking distance, belly jiggling and full-body pivots were used to distract the target while left- or right-handed punches were launched. Should the target survive this onslaught, grappling would ensue and continue until he/she was floored. At this point the Teras Kasi user would leap atop the target, crushing him/her.
- Quacking Badger — a series of arced blows to the metacarpus too complex to describe. So there!
- Girlish Squeal of the Helium Induced Male — a rapid verticalization of the knee against the target's crotch.
- Nine Thousand Blasts of Superheated Hair Gel to the Cranium — a blow to the target's head with clasped hands while chanting tongue-twisters in Bocce.
- Appendectomy — a surgical removal of target's appendix.
Behind the scenesEdit
Teras Kasi is lethal, extremely lethal, in fact it's so lethal that it's Darthipedia's 666th article. Scared yet??