That Stormtrooper That Got Thrown Off The Platform Where They Froze Han Solo, By Chewbacca, In Episode V
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Physical description




Chronological and political information

Galactic Empire

That Stormtrooper That Got Thrown Off The Platform Where They Froze Han Solo, By Chewbacca, In Episode V or for our purposes Mick was among the white-helmeted dunces dispatched to Cloud City by Darth Vader in order to trap Luke Skywalker for delivery to Emperor Palpatine. Except that he wasn't actually in the Imperial Stormtrooper Corps. He was an rancor poodoo cleaner for a local circus. He just pretended to be an Imperial Soldier and than got the poodoo beaten out of him Chewie.



Mick was not a cool dude. Throughout his entire life he was getting thrown aside by others, mainly bullies, who were bigger and stronger than him. Usually he was thrown into puddles, mud, snow, acid, rocks, piles of wood, cement, and sometimes vomit. He would go home to his parents and complain. His parents would get depressed because there son was getting bullied. They would get drunk and then throw him out a fourth story window in their apartment building, confusing him for a stray sheep. Then he would go to the hospital with a broken limb and come to school the next day. He would get bullied even more, get pushed to the ground and the cycle would begin again.

Cloud CityEdit

When Mick turned eighteen he signed up for the Stormtrooper Corps. They rejected him because he looked "kinda funny". In truth, he did look kinda funny, you know? He had that awkward look to him. I think it was his nose, you know? Kinda off to one didn't look very good. Anyway, Mick was crushed. He had no where to turn to. His parents were dead (they had tried to sue the Empire because of Mick not being allowed in. It didn't end well), he had no money, and he was stuck on Cloud City because he climbed onto what he thought was an empty ship in a Coruscant hanger to take a nap and when he woke up some crazy Rodian was speaking gibberish and threatening him with a knife. Mick ran off the ship...right into a pole. When he woke up he was in...a hospital. When he was allowed to leave he walked out the door and found himself...getting run over by a speeder. Finally, after a second trip to the hospital he walked out the doors and found himself...getting mugged. After he woke up from that incident he found himself...staring at the backside of a hobo. After he got the hobo off, he found himself alley way. When he walked out of the alley way...he got mugged again. This time though he didn't get knocked out and when he finally got out of the alley way he found himself in...the hospital. He had got run over by a second speeder. Finally he left the hospital for the third time and found himself...on Coruscant. Then he hitched a ride to Alderaan, but the driver took a detour to Cloud City and left Mick there. Mick got a job at the local circus cleaning rancor crap or as the job description called it "poodoo". When he heard Vader and the Men in White were coming to town he quit his job as "Official Rancor Excretion Junior Assistant Secretary Manager of the Cloud City Circus" and made plans to get his revenge.

Final DaysEdit

When Mick saw a stormtrooper walk by when they first came, he offered him some death sticks to lure him in. When he came over to Mick, leaving the main group, Mick punched him in the face...and then broke his hand because the stormtrooper had his helmet on. Luckily, the Stormtrooper was a rancapoodoocleanafistaphobic (the fear of a rancor poodoo cleaner's fist) and he fainted. Mick took the stormtrooper's uniform and equipment and joined the group of Stormtroopers that were bringing Han Solo to the carbonite pit. Unfortunately, Chewbacca picked him up and threw him into the pit. Mick would've shot the Wookiee, but his broken hand impaired him from drawing his gun.

Behind the scenesEdit

Fortunately for the nameless actor, the Star Wars production crew were better prepared and had placed a mattress at the bottom of the pit out of view of the camera. Unfortunately for the nameless actor he missed the mattress completely and broke his neck. On the positive side, the uniform received only minor chafing and was reused in the next movie.

Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on That Stormtrooper That Got Thrown Off The Platform Where They Froze Han Solo, By Chewbacca, In Episode V.

On Wookiepedia, this trooper, among other short, pithy articles about similar nameless, soon-to-be-offed troopers, was the subject of a hotly contested debate. This centered around whether or not vape-bait (such as this luckless soldier) who never got any lines, no identification, and only a few seconds of screen-time, should be included in that exalted repository of knowledge. The hyperinclusionists won, albeit barely.


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