The Darth the Master
Biographical information



Mmmmmm, milkshakes...


Too awesome to die

Physical description

Time Lord/Sith/Human




Human height

Hair color

Able to change at will)

Eye color




Chronological and political information

All of Gallifrey


Sith/Time Lords

Known masters


"Ah, am I bored of this."
―The Darth the Master, just before annihilating Earth

The Darth the Master was a super-cool Sith Overlord with extremely destructive powah. From his home planet of Gallifrey he sent out a Destructor Campaign across the Universe and ultimately to the galaxy. In his lifetime he was renowned for destroying many planets thanks to his powah, especially Earth and Gallifrey (yes he actually destroyed the Time Lords, everyone just rewrote the story so it looked like the Doctor did). The Darth the Master was so cool, he conquered Earth. Also he was much better than his irritating, saddo counterpart, Jedi Master the Doctor. Seriously, everyone hates the Doctor. I mean, even Yoda, the most patient Jedi ever, got bored with the Doctor's constant floods of tears. The Darth the Master was so cool he never, ever cried (just ask me if you think that's a good thing). The Darth the Master conquered Earth, like, a dozen times, before getting bored with it and crushing it to oblivion, proving it doesn't exist.

Home lifeEdit

The Master was raised on planet Gallifrey along with the wimpy Doctor and the other Time Lords. He thought there was always something weird about his people, and this suspicion was proven wrong when the Time Lords took him, or so he thought, to stare into the Untempered Schism (whatever the Hell that is). Where the Master was really bound, however, was for Dave's Pizza Parlour, a Time Lord burger bar. The Master munched on the WhatshallIcallit, and thought that maybe the Time Lords were cool after all. But however, the Master's suspicion that he would have to stare into the Vortex was proven, finally, right, when the Time Lords paid his bill and escorted him to the portal on the opposite side of the road. The Master looked into the Vortex, already gaining fame as one of the few Time Lords who didn't run like pigs, and then saw an image of the Emperor in the Vortex proclaiming "JOIN THE DARK SIDE, JOHN, IT'S SUPER-COOL!" "AND MY NAME'S NOT JOHN, YOU RETARD!" the Master yelled back, startling the Time Lords who thought their newest recruit was going bonkers.

The StalkerEdit

Since then, the Darth the Master would see Palpy everywhere he went, even in Burger King bars. Once he went into the bar to order something with the Doctor, and this was where his hatred of the Doctor began, cos the Master was plotting to destroy your planet when the Doctor went off to chat up some Earth girls which he had seen having sex. The Master was so pissed off at the Doctor's treachery and lustfulness, that he decided he would make ends meet and pursue the mission on his own. Eventually the Master plotted a decent plan, but was interrupted by Palpatine who approached him and showed him a key to Joining the Dark Side: two planets ready for demolition. The Darth the Master demanded of Palpatine's identity, and Palpatine said: "You want ID?" and showed the Darth the Master his titties. The Darth the Master turned homosexual and this turned out to be the key to Destroying Your Planet.

The Year That Will Always ExistEdit

The Master escaped the Doctor's clutches and fled to Earth - no, he didn't flee. He was too self-composed for such a wimpy escape. Wella, he left the Doctor at the end of the Universe, or so he thought, and marched to Earth and became Prime Minister, naming himself the Darth the Prime Minister, or, to the general public, Darth Saxon. The general public called him Darth Saxon or Darth Harold, either due to some weird invasion in 1066 or some lunatics of deranged imaginations. Anyhow, the Darth the Master kicked Bush's butt and conquered Earth, reigning over it for a year and saying in the process "Up yours, Georgie!" The Darth the Master was eventually PWNed, as all villains eventually seem to be, but then the Darth the Master returned in 2010, and he ruled Earth for an hour or two before being kicked in the butt and this pushed him onto the Demolition Switch which blew Earth to rubble. Only the Darth the Master escaped, due to his kick-ass-awesomeness.

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