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The Hutt-father

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Huttfather
The Hutt-father
Biographical information
Homeworld

Tatooine

Physical description
Species

Hutt

Gender

Male

Height

1.4 meters.

Eye color

Black

Chronological and political information
"Go flush yourself."
―The Hutt-father

The Hutt-father or The Grand Lumpus Poo-pah was the first Hutt, and father of all Hutts. In spite of being the first and greatest piece of crap inter-Galactic Crime lord, he, of all the Hutts, looked somewhat respectable.

BiographyEdit

BirthEdit

"I thought I was out, but they pulled me back in!"
―The Hutt-Father, on the escape from his coprogenic womb

The first Hutt, the Hutt-Father was conceived when on having to go really, really bad, someone was told, there were no lavatories around, so just hold it in.

These conditions lasted for years, during which the Hutt-Father's progenitor, a saint really, resorted to 'prairie-dogging it'. Over time, the fecal mass built up to that very special amount that could give it life, and so began a long struggle to escape for the Hutt-Father. Finally, on the surface of Tatooine, an open drainage system was found and the first Hutt was born!

Early YearsEdit

Thusly, of lowly descent, was he conceived on Tatooine, quite literally born in a gutter. He, the resilient piece of shit that he was, however did not let the confines of his cesspool home, umm... confine him and soon rose out of the dirty, smelly, raw sewage and joined the being that occupied the somewhat less dirty, smelly streets of Tatooine.

Growing up in a sick world, the young shit often found himself being mocked by those around him. "You ain't worth shit!" they said, or "No shit ever amounts to anything" they said or even "Haw-haw! Shitty shitty shit shit!!" Cursing under his Mal-odouros breath, the future Hutt father swore he would rise to a position where no one would mock him again.

It may be noted that of all creatures, Gamorreans did not mind him so much, Gamorreans loved shit because, as Mace Windu once said, "Pigs are filthy animals". The Hutt-father much appreciated this kindness and would often use his Gamorrean associates while working jobs for established crime lords.

Rise to PowerEdit

While details are vague, it is known much of his power came during the terrible Tatooine drought of ???BBY. The Tatooinian authorities laid down a law prohibiting the use of water in toilets, urging people to "hold it in" with the campaign slogan "No shit!".

"We'll make them an offer to collect their refuse."
―The Hutt-father, to his Gamorrean underlings

In order to persuade officials to back his views, the Hutt-father had his Gamorrean minions cut the head off the mayor's prize-winning Bantha and put it in his bed.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
―The mayor, on waking up the next day

The Hutt-father quickly seized upon this and along with his Gamorrean associates, began advertising "clean and effective disposal". Needless to say he made a lot of money. This made him very happy.

Behind the scenesEdit

In each of the many movies surrounding his life, the Hutt-father has been portrayed by a member of the GAMBLA (Galactic Association of Marlon Brando Look-Alikes, not the other GAMBLA)

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