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The Shockmaster

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Shockmaster

The Shockmaster shocked the world!

The Shockmaster, also known as Fred Tugboat Typhoon Ottman, was a clumsy stormtrooper whose DNA was heavily influenced by That Stormtrooper That Hit His Head On A Door In Episode IV. His unconventional uniform consisted of blue jeans, a frilly black vest, and a glittery purple stormtrooper helmet.

The personal project of Rom Mohc and Darth Vader, Shockmaster was injected with 17 different brands of anabolic steroids and muscle stims. His strength training involved lifting a barbell with TIE fighters on each end. He could punch holes through the walls of the Death Star. Rom Mohc and Vader were planning to debut their new muscleman by having him wipe the floor with Kyle Katarn and show the galaxy the invincibility of the Empire.

Kyle Katarn was lured to Mohc's underground headquarters and made his way through levels of traps, guards, and laser batteries, until finally he reached the final boss room. Vader and Mohc were waiting for him. When Kyle demanded to know who he was to fight next, Vader replied, "All I have to say is your next opponent is going to shock the world because he is none other than the Shockmaster!" At this point, Shockmaster burst dramatically through the wall, tripped, and his helmet fell off.

As Shockmaster reached down and grabbed his helmet, Katarn started giggling. Shockmaster then put his helmet back on and tried to look menacing. He shouted, "They call me the Shockmaster! You've ruled the world long enough, Kyle Katarn. Get ready! Come on! You want a piece of me? You want a piece of me?" But by then it was too late. The moment was ruined. Vader and Mohc were giggling along with Katarn. "He fell flat on his frackin' arse!"

The whole project collapsed at that point. Vader apologized profusely to Katarn and paid for his shuttle ticket home. Katarn asked if it was okay if he killed the Shockmaster, and Vader shrugged and said it was fine, so Kyle stuck a grenade down his pants and went off for a beer.

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