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The beginning

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Once upon a war...


In the beginning Lucas allowed the Star Wars fandom to exist. There was just Him in the beginning, the Lucas was all alone. The spirit of the Lucas reclined on His couches. So, to create Himself some company, the Lucas said: "LET THERE BE LIGHT." He switched His beside light on. That was the first day.

The Lucas then said: "Let there be an expanse between My couch and My TV set." He flung a carpet down. That was the second day.

Then the Lucas said "Let the beer be gathered all into one place, and let there be empty beer cans in My kitchen." And this was so. He drank many cans of beer and dumped their empty bottles in His kitchen. And this was the third day.

The Lucas' wife was not happy with the state of His/their kitchen. "I don't want this bare oblivion," she cursed. "GIVE ME PLANTS. NOW!" And the Lucas went down to the corner shop, the florist's, and bought two rhododendrons and spider plants. These He put on the mantlepieces of the kitchen, His wife being too lazy by far to get them herself.

And the Lucas said "I happen to own much that fanboys would nick. So let there be two great lights: One by my front door, and another by the entrance gate." He had them installed by an electrician. And there was morning - and the lights came on. This was the fourth day.

The Lucas bought several cats and dogs and mice and chipmunks and chinchillas and raccoons and other rodents. He blessed them all as pets of His house, and said: "Be fruitful, increase in number... But do not shit on the rug." And it was so. This was the fifth day.

And the Lucas said "Let the whole earth produce animals, livestock and pets, that shall be as Mine forever that lives." And upon His wife's request He bought some pet turtles, and some pet goats, along with two goldfish and a pet hamster. And these pets flourished and lived in the Lucas' backdoor garden - It was the sixth day.

Then the Lucas said to His wife: "Let us create Man in our image, so that he may fill the earth and rule its animals." Thus the Lucas lay with His wife and created sons of His making, of His image, and daughters - Male and female He created them.

So the Lucas created sons and daughters in His image; male and female He created them. And the Lucas saw it was good.

Then it was evening; the sixth day.

On the seventh day, the Lucas was pleased with what he saw, so the Lucas collapsed on His sofa, a can of beer in hand. On the seventh day, the Lucas rested.


- To quote the Book of George released in 1 AD.

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