Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Turbolaser.

A turbolaser was a turbo-powered garden hose laser cannon, commonly mounted aboard large freighters, capital-class starships, and large space stations. Most turbolasers were too heavy and unwieldy to be used against fast-moving starfighters, as the Galactic Empire found out, much to their chagrin, at the Battle of Yavin. The lack of such effective countermeasures was usually the excuse given by Imperial sympathizers for why the Death Star was so easily destroyed. For once, those morons actually had a point, because if it hadn't been for some n00b and his smuggler buddy, the Rebel force would still have been eliminated by Darth Vader.


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