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Turd

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Turds

Basic turd body shape.

Turds were a species of little blue blobs with an annoying habit of showing up everywhere, doing absolutely nothing important (most of the time), and pissing everyone the hell off (all of the time). Some notable turds were Watto, Max Rebo, and Greedo. Gonzo was a turd but definitely not notable.

LanguageEdit

Turds mostly spoke Turdish, a language that uses the sounds from slapping your ass so hard its red enough to write on with a blue ball-point pen. And that's how Turds liked to write. However they chose to speak like any other half-decent species when entertaining guests.

Home worldEdit

The Turd homeworld, Toydaria, is so ancient that no one remembers it or even cares. Try asking your history teacher. Most likely he will destroy your planet or turn out to be a Turd and give you lessons in speaking Turdish. So watch out.

CharacteristicsEdit

Maxbrothers

A bunch o' Turds

Aside from omnipresence and omnipissance turds couldn't really do much. They had a lot of racial variation which led to a lot of communal violence and for many of them to be mistaken for other species (and they didn't even try to correct anyone about that) such as Ortolan or Rodian. They were never mistaken for Twi'leks. Not even if you were drunk. It was impossible for a Turd to use the Force so their strongest means of defense was teaching people to speak Turdish. Which was really bad-ass anyway.

Turd PornographyEdit

As no one can remember exactly where Toydaria is, Turd porn is extremely rare. So rare in fact, that it has been elevated to the status of Galactic art. It is a symbol of status to own it or to have ever seen some. A Turd blue-holomovie would be worth so much that only God could afford it, though he wouldn't need it. Watto once attempted to forge Turd porn using his younger brother Orko, which probably accounts for why Orko was so fucked up.

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