Tycho Celchu was a blond starfighter pilot. Not only that, he married Princess Leia's platinum blond aide, Winter. They lived happily ever after with no kids, but they had lots of Aryan relations. Tycho was later very close with Leia's daughter Jaina, who later turned out to be Mirta Gev's very good friend girlfriend. Tycho's only weakness was his secret fetish for Chiss. He was secretly very, very gay for Grand Admiral Thrawn, and during his time in the Imperial forces, back when Thrawn was way at the bottom of the chain of command, they had a lot of hot, near-human relations that made for very good fan fiction. When Winter found out about this, her only comment was "Do you have naked pictures of Thrawn?"

Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Tycho Celchu.

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