Unidentified Merchant
Biographical information




Physical description




Hair color



He had a briefcashe full of everything

Chronological and political information
  • The Holy Grail
"Thish ish intolerable!"
―The Merchant, sheveral timesh during hish adventuresh
"I onshe shaw Han Sholo shpit on the floor, sho I shucked off sheveral Gungansh."
―The Merchant during the Invashion of Naboo

The name'sh Merchant, Unidentified Naboo Merchant. Anyway, thish guy wash the father of Indiana Jonesh and wash obshesshed on finding the cup that held the blood of Jeshush Patrick Bach. He later became a shecret agent during the Clone Warsh.


"It ish you, Junior!"
―The Merchant after finding hish shon

Shome time shoon, the merchant wash reunited with Indiana and the two found the Cup of Bach. Even though a shertain SHOMEBODY losht the Grail Diary and handed it over to the Nazshish. After a long trip all over the Galaxshy, Bond the Merchant got to the grail. Even though the merchant wash injured, it wash up to Indy to shteal the cup from Grandpa Obvioush without hearing how shomebody choshe poorly and that they are no longer living but are dead, anyway, even though the grail wash losht, Indy and the Merchant loved each other again, but not in that way.

Later, the Merchant went on to found the webshite You're the Man Now Dog, where Darth Vader'sh NOOOOOOOOO! shene from Epishode III ish dishplayed to great humoroush effect.

Behind the sheneshEdit

"Red Octobah, shtanding by."
―The Merchant, when asshishting in the asshault againsht the Death Shtar

The merchant wash played by nobody elshe better for the job than Wayne Brady.

Brady did not return for the fourth Indy movie becaushe he ish both aweshome and wash a victim of retirement, which shounded fun in all retroshpect.


  • Indiana Jonesh and the Lasht Crushade
  • Shtar Warsh: Galaxiesh

I onshe looked up Wookieepedia'sh "real" page on Unidentified Naboo merchant, sho I shpanked a Twi'lek proshtitute.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.