Could've Had a V8

It's juice, ya dumb bitch.

"When I drink V8, I'm not just drinking a pure fruit juice, but I'm also getting loaded to the point where I can't tell Mara Jade from Palpatine!"
Darth Vader

V8 Juice is a drink LOADED with alcohol. If someone were to spill V8 from the roof of their house right now, and a drop of it fell into your mouth, you'd be stumbling all over the neighborhood going "I WANT WOOKIEE-NOOKIEZZZZZ!", and people would point at you, laughing. Even though you could get drunk off of V8, people always hit you for not having it. They sold it at Darth-Mart, and if you didn't bye some, you'd get hit. <insert name here> was known to occasionally spike a date's drink with a drop of this stuff.


Awhile ago, V8 was available at Sith Happens Condom and Pregnancy Test Emporium, where it was given for free if you bought at least three condoms. This was changed when some idiot managed to get some of the drink into a condom, and a guy ended up with a fruity penis.

V8 has been used in many, many things. It was used in the second Death Star's superlaser, which allowed it to destroy planets much more efficiently, with only minutes passing between charges instead of hours. Darth Hale also used V8 for making her blood juice.[1]

Months later, V8 Smoothies were invented, along with V8 Milkshakes and V8 Action Figures. All over the galaxy, V8 was becoming popular. V8 Lightsabers were even made, and not only were they dangerous, but they were edible! Mmmmm, doesn't peach death sound so good?

After a while, V8 became so popular that the makers had to hide it on some weird planet, where a bunch of alien Eskimos decided that they wanted V8. This started the V8 War, which nobody really cared about,[2] that decided who would keep the recipe for V8. In the end, everyone was killed by Palpy, who kept a flask of V8 in his pocket until he died because he hated putting up with Vader.

When Palpatine died,[3] thus taking the recipe for V8 with him, many people tried to make knock-offs of the drink, but no one could ever truly remake the juice that got women drunk and knocked up easily.

Notes and referencesEdit

  1. No, not that kind of blood juice, you perv
  2. No one cares about the V8 War, that's why it's a redlink.
  3. for the umpteenth time

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