Vonduun Shit Plate

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Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Vonduun Skerr Kyrric.

Vonduun Shit Plate, more commonly known as the vonduun crabs, was an aquatic crustacean worn by the Yuuzhan Vong for protection against technological weaponry such as lightsabers, much to the dismay of the Jedi. However, the creatures were allergic to tree pollen found on Ithor, and since the Yuuzhan Vong didn't have machines and factories to create Claritin with, the solution was simple: The Jedi used tree branches and flowers instead of lightsabers as their primary weapons. With a few whacks, a puff of pollen would be released over a wide area, killing hundreds of vonduun and the Vong that wore them. This became so prevalent that the vonduun crab was declared an endangered species, causing an outrage among the galactic community which had been enjoying it as a seafood delicacy. Everything returned to normal when the Yuuzhan Vong devastated Ithor with herbicides, eradicating all the trees on its surface.

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