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Wampa

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Wampa
Yeti
Designation

Wampa

Planet of origin

Hoth

Height of average adult

10-12 feet

Average length

10-12-feet armwise

Average wingspan

Some animals don't have Fucking wings!

Skin color

Unknown

Hair color

White

Feather color

Fur (dumbass)

Eye color

Black

Distinctions

Looks like a Giant cotton ball with fangs

Wampas were semi-sentient white supremacists from Hoth. One particular Wampa once tried to PWN Luke Skywalker because he had a Black Father. Luke retaliated by chopping off the Wampa's right arm so she couldn't preform the secret White Supremacist hand salute anymore. In result the said Wampa redeemed her life and started a career as a spokesperson against racism.

The Discovery Edit

When the Rebel Alliance first began to build the Hoth base they had to deep excavation and lots of scouting. The Discovery of the Wampa was merely accidental but this because of early hostilities towards the species the Wampa developed a deep rooted hatred to the humans on there Planet. The Rebel who discovered the Wampa became instantly famous from his discovery but because of his violent nature he soon made enemies with the Wampa. Fred the Rebel was soon after exploring about a mile away from the base site he would discover a whole new species but since Fred the Rebel was such a jackass and his senses thinking that everyplace was filled with Stormtroopers.

Rebel alliancesoldier

Fred who discovered the Wampa

Fred: "Who go's there!? Put your hands on your Motherfucking head!"
Wampa: "Hello Stranger you look new to these parts, meet my family. Why isn't it a peaceful day in this peaceful place, ahh I just like to see the peaceful sunrise. :D"
Fred: "Imma shoot your kids stop pointing at me! (blast blast) See i warned you look what you made me do!"
Wampa: "GROWLLLL!!!"
―Fred encountering the Wampa

Fred made it out of the situation alive but unfortunately he lost both hands and a leg and was picked up by a later patrol. The patrol found the Wampa on top of Fred and apparently the Beast tried to eat the Blaster but just accidentally blew his brains out. The Rebels then dragged both bodies back where Fred then died of blood loss due to know first aid. The Wampa was shipped off to a medical facility to be examined.

Biology of the Wampa Edit

Cowdiagram

An easy Diagram to understand.

Wampas were built for the chilly Hoth Weather. There furs were thick and bushy and you could store many objects within them. The Fur was also used to store babies for the winter. If you were to shave a Wampa they would lose about 200 lbs and appear to be an average Human but unfortunately due to the exposure the Wampa would just die. Wampas were Heterosexual and Asexual and when they reproduce avalanches were known to happen and the temperature in the area would decrease by 4 degrees. Wampa babies are the size of and average horse and consume about 8 gallons of blue milk every day.

Wampas in The Hoth Edit

Meadow1280x1024

A Wampa exclaiming its dominance.

"Brrrr, Fuck it's cold, why do I just stand here?"
―Wampa
Wampa

Wampas helped the cycle of life by being the dominant predator and by Wookiee-Nookieing everything they saw or that came up on there territory. The Wampas lived in natural caves that were formed by the Snow and that's where they furnished it with ice, ice, and more ice. The Caves were well concealed as by Luke and his PWNage by the famous Wampa who captured the Jedi. Wampas helped the Hoth environment by heating up areas during sexual reproduction and of course there oh so lovable Wookiee-Nookieing!

Domestication Edit

Wampa Echo Base

Come on Jim! I didn't steal your lunch, Don't have such a Cow.

Business Owner: "You do realize were all about being professional so, you have to get a haircut."
Wampa: "You do realize I'm going to die if I cut my hair?"
— Wampa at Job Interview

Wampas began to realize that Hoth was a piece of crap and began to moving to the other usual worlds in the galaxy such as Tatooine, Coruscant, and YAYADADA. Wampas were soon prejudged by there acts on Hoth such as the PWNing of Luke to the Hostile Discovery with Fred. The workplace for the Wampas became hostile and the creatures began to lose there temper causing Panic and Dilemma. Wampas were fairly useful during the labor industries and big business owners began to see them as a good slave labor force. They also became good tour guides and were loved by the kids.

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