Wedge Antilles

From Darthipedia, the Star Wars Humor Wiki, currently editing over 582,969,951 articles

Please Do not edit this page as long as this template is placed here. Lord Vader "requests" that you do not edit this page because it is actively undergoing a major edit. If you ignore this warning, Lord Vader will most likely destroy your planet. As a courtesy, please do not make edits to this article while this message is displayed, in order to avoid edit conflicts. If you wish to know who is working on the article and when the edit session began, please consult the edit history and the talk page.

Wedge Antilles
Biographical information
Homeworld	Korell
Born	21 BBY
Physical description
Species	Human
Gender	Male
Height	He was short because he loved fying
Hair color	Brown
Chronological and political information
Era(s)	Kick Ass Era
Affiliation	Rebel Alliance New Republic

[Source]

"Look at the size of that thing! Uhh…I've got, er, an engine failure here…yeah, that’s it. Oh, well, looks like I’d better pop off back to base for repairs. Ciao!"

―An example of Wedge’s heroic actions at the Battle of Yavin

Wedge "Wedgie" Antilles was a totally brave and courageous X-wing pilot who never gave up, no matter what the odds, not even if Darth Vader himself were chasing him. No, siree, Wedge was always dependable in the heat of battle! Also, he was definitely not offered a position with the Rebellion because his nephew was a famous Jedi Master.

[Edit] Early years

Wedge was born Percival Hardwycke Antilles, but the emotional distance that grew between his parents in the wake of his birth earned him the derogatory nickname "Wedge," which tragically somehow wound up on his birth certificate. Each parent blamed Wedge, frequently and to his face, for their new marital difficulties.

[Edit] Finding his true calling

"Don't vape me, bro!"

―Wedge Antilles, in combat

Wedge took to flying during one of his more successful attempts to run away from home, in which a badly-timed afterburner burst ignited his family's space station and incinerated his parents, their employees, and Wedge's beloved Darth Darth Binks plush toy.

Falling victim to the Rebel Alliance's angsty-youth-targeted propaganda, Wedge became a Rebel pilot and famously survived engagements with twelve different Death Stars.

[Edit] Wedge's Kill List

Wedge upon seeing the Death Star

• 2,456,987 TIE fighters
• 1,876 Star Destroyers
• 2 Freaking Death Star's
• IG-88
• Luke Skywalker
• 42 X-Wings "on accident" he said
• Coruscant

Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Wedge Antilles.