The Whinny Bitch Club was created by Emo people across the galaxy. Originally, it was created when the Jedi came into being. However, it really began when Carth Onasi lost his wife to Malak and his planet got destroyed. The people who joined are people who cry a lot, whine, moan, etc. Or if they are just emo. It had a lot of enemies, and most of the members got killed when Cookie Monster ate them all. So, usually these people are just beggars and annoying people, who most don't like, if you are a cool dude. Basically all members annoyed atleast one person. The most notorious member was Anakin Skywalker he cried so much his eyes turned into a teary blue. So, read this article, but beware
- "Take me with u Revan, I want to be awesome like you!"
"No, you will never be a pimp like me, I have an awesome mullet, you have a freaky emo hairdo"
"But REVAAAAAAAN!!! WAAAAAAAHAAAHAAAHAAHAA!"
"Oh Shut up, I don't have time for your whiny mood"
- ―Carth and Revan before the latter goes into the Unknown Regions
A long time ago in a Galaxy far far away, The Galaxy was created by George Lucas and God. Pimps were made to control the galaxy. It was not long until the Emos were created. Sesame Street was running rampid through the galaxy, destroying many planets for Darth Darth Binks. It seemed the Jedi wanted control for their own use, and started the act of emoism, and that is when Whiny Bitches came into the galaxy. The Sith, or the pimps, got sick of the Jedi and started Destroying their planets. Eventually, Darth Revan came along. He was once a jedi, but then realized that their ways were not cool, so we wanted to rule the galaxy and rid everybody from emo people. He created an awesome fleet, conquering the galaxy, wanting room for the pimps. Then Revan became a jedi again, created Darth Revan's gang, killed Darth Malak, and scored a hot girl. Revan changed the Jedi so they can be more likeable by everyone, and seem what they actually were created for. Carth Onasi, one of Revan's Gang, became a whiny little bitch after Malak destroyed his planet and his wife cheated on him (i don't see why not, who would want to be with a whiny bitch?). After Revan killed Malak, he saw a threat to his awesomeness. He went out there to end it. Before he did he went to Bastila and (This section has been deleted for Revan wants his privacy dammit!) After that Carth Onasi begged Revan to take him, thinking he could be useful, but Revan left him to his bitching and moaning. That is when Carth Onasi created the Whiny Bitch club so he could have people who understand him. The Whiny Bitch club never stayed in one place, because people kicked them out as they did not want them.
Death of the Emos, or so we thought...Edit
- Mrs Onasi: "Wow Carth, im actually glad I left you for Malak, at least he cared, and at least he was a man, unlike you"
- Carth: "But I am a man I have a (This word has been deleted to keep Darthipedia kid friendly) see? *sniff*"
- — Carth and his wife
For many years Carth Onasi ruled the club, making many rules, he thought he was cool like Revan. However, his wife's ghost visited him, and laughed at him. So, he was so depressed he shot himself in the head, and his wife shot him in the nuts, just to be sure he was dead. Then, the remaining club members worked a deal with a mysterious gang to shoot Sesame Street. They did not kill anyone, but their plan backfired. The gang died. Darth Elmo was so furious he sent bloodthirsty Cookie Monster after the remaining whiny bitches in the galaxy. He devoured them gruesomely, and there were no emos who escaped the gruesome death.
Nobody thought the whinny bitch club would return, until Anakin Skywalker came into the galaxy. Even Mace Windu, a hardened pimp, felt the emo's disturbace. He said "Damn, a bitch has been born." Qui-Gon Jinn dragged Bitch Boy into the Academy. There he became an Emo jedi, and met his hot sexy Panda Bear Wife. Then he was in the Clone Wars, cried a lot, blah blah blah. Then in that kiddy show he had a bitch of an apprentice, No soup-a with-a buffet. They worked together as the Bitch Duo, and they were the only known members of the Whiny Bitch Club. The kiddy show went on and on until No Soup-a died a horribe death on Byss. Skywalker cried, big surprise. Then he got home to his wife, and got to know she was pregnant with his seed. However, he discovered she was dying, and unless Whiny saved her, his tears would flow like a mighty river. They may even surpass Darth Sorrow! Whiny then fell to the Dark Side, killed all his emo friends, got burned and everybody was happy. The Whiny Bitch club was no more, or so we thought... Suddenly, the pimp Darth Vader appeared. Do you think these events are connected? maybe...
Return of the Bitches, OH NO!Edit
The galaxy had a time of order under Palpatine and Darth Vader, and they always said. "You will do what we want, as we are pimps, or we will Destroy your planet. The people we're scared. Then, after a long time, Whiny the 1st's
ugly bitch seed came to life, and he was known as Wormy. He became part of the Rebel Scum, and fought Darth Vader. He was much like his father, and somehow managed to bed Mara Jade. and somehow defeated darth vader. He then created the New Republic of Bitches, and the whiny bitch club was back in order. Carth and Whiny must be proud. And the New Emo Order was created to defend the NRB. There was nobody to oppose them. The people lost hope and thought they were doomed to a gruesome death. The NRB managed to prosper for a long time until God had enough of the bitches and smited them on his anvil, or Darth Lucas destroyed the NRB. Finally! The Emo Whiny Bitch Club is gone, I hope.
Darth Emo's RevengeEdit
- "*Sniff* WHY DID YOU BWING ME BACK? WAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!"
- ―The Chosen One who cries to Darth Emo's Ghost
For many years the Whiny Bitch Club was non-existant. God was relieved no noobs or criers were begging at his feet. Everybody was happy, And the
bitches jedi went underground to escape George Lucas's hammer. However, Darth Emo, one of the original emo people, was a wandering ghost on Korriban. For many years he plotted his revenge on the Galaxy, so he used the force, and two lightning bolts, to bring back. *dum dum dum dum dum dum*. Anakin Skywalker and Cry me a river. At the time Darth Squidward was the only known whiny bitch in the galaxy. He also was very evil, and a cranky one too! So, the two made a deal with him. With the power of Darth Emo they corrupted so many good people, even pimps, to follow the wrath of emosim, and corrupted so many people. The streets were crazy, with wild whiny bitches. George Lucas was not pleased. Together with God they called the Master Pimp and Darth Revan back from the dead. Mace Windu wanted revenge on "The Chosen One" for killing him, and Revan simply did not like emo people or whiny bitches at all. Revan did what he did best, he pwned them all and scored hot ladies. Mace Windu challenged Whiny to a duel, and while taunting him with his Ewok Gangsta Rap, he stabbed him and said: "How's it feel to be backstabbed, Chosen one?.". Revan then killed Darth Emo and Darth Sorrow, Whiny went to hell, and the galaxy was back together. George Lucas was finally pleased, and God came down to show Revan his type of pwnage as a reward. The Whiny Bitch club was gone, and everybody was happy. George Lucas finally said: "Let there be no more emos or whiny bitches, for they disturb the peace too often."