Word Bearers

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Word Bearers
Formation infomation

Darth Chaotic



Member description
Number of members


Average Species


Average Gender


Personal information

Eradication/redemption of the heretics



"We bear the Word of Gonk, and that word is PAIN!"
―Unit motto

The Word Bearers, also known as the Armored Fist of Gonk, was a paramilitary organization led by the insane Sith Mega-Super-Overlord Darth Chaotic. That relatively small army served one goal: total eradication of the Plunk heresy from the known galaxy. It had plenty of successes and dozens of planets destroyed on its account.


The organization was founded after the Battle of the Valley of the Dark Lords, when the Gonk Himself resurrected his fallen, loyal minions and empowered them with the Dark Side of the Force. After its leader, Eliphas, sucessfully graduated at Darthvard and became an official Sith Lord, the Word Berears started their pangalactic rampage, using the dreadful Redeemer as the means of transport.

They destroyed numerous planets in a matter of months, and for those who survived their bloody assaults, Happy Redemption Concentration Camps were established. There, the Plunkists could convert to the Only True Religion, or... die! Eventually, Darth Chaotic was promoted to the coveted rank of the Sith Mega-Super-Overlord for his evil deeds, and Pulpitine became his only remaining rival.

Modus operandiEdit

Phase IEdit

The Word Bearers came to a random planet. They had left Redeemer on its orbit and then sent a part of their forces to start the religious mission. It usually consisted of walking around the houses with fearsome booklets and friendly talks.

It rarely worked.

Phase IIEdit

In case the negotiations had not worked, Phase II was launched. Squads of Gonktroopers were sent on the planet's surface to pacify the stubborn unbelievers with the swords and the flames.

That phase had reasonable success rate.

Phase IIIEdit

Should the Gonktroopers fail to convert the heretics (such cases were rare), the frightening Gonk Berserkers were sent with the task of eliminating enemy's... I mean potential believers' wary leaders.

That worked almost always.

Phase IVEdit

If not only the Gonktroopers, but also the Berserkers failed to instill the Word into the minds of unbelievers, the dreadful Crusader-class walkers appeared on the battlefield, auguring the inevitable carnage divine punishment.

In case there were any survirors left, they no longer hesitated with joining the Only True Religion.

Phase VEdit

Phase V was the ultimate operation of the Word Bearers - obliterating the planet's surface with blistering heat of the Almighty G*nk's divine wrath.

(It is important to note that Phase V was rarely launched after the unsuccessful Phase IV - very often Darth Chaotic started his religious missions from that phase, causing major destruction throughout the galaxy).



This article is called Word Bearers. Word Bearers has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Word Bearers can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.

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