You have new erections

Biographical information
Physical description

Human (homo magi)



Hair color


Eye color

Dark brown

Chronological and political information
Known masters


Known apprentices

Penn & Teller

"For my next trick, I'll make this relationship disappear."
―Xaverri, breaking up with Han Solo

Xaverri was a creepy but hot female magician who once spent six months boffing Han Solo. They discovered twenty new sexual positions involving the "saw a woman in half" trick.

She had a tragic past. Her entire family was killed by a six-fingered man who worked for the Empire, and she was always looking for revenge. She helped win the Battle of Nar Shadada by conjuring pigeons and distracting the Imperial fleet with her sexy poses.

As ex-girlfriends go, she was relatively stable, except for the time she got all paranoid about some weird alien from another dimension called Waru.

This article is called Xaverri. Xaverri has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Xaverri can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Xaverri.