3,216pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Add New Page Talk1
Biographical information

Tell you I must not


A very long time ago in 896 BBY


4 ABY, Dagobah

Physical description





0.66 meters

Hair color

Dark brown, changed to white when old he got

Eye color

Never supposed to look a frog in the eye you are


You idiots, none he had

Personal shit

Green lightsaber

Forms of ass-kickery
Chronological and political information
Known masters

N'Kata Del Gormo

Known apprentices
"I'm Yoda! I'm a soulja. I'll mold ya and fold ya. I thought I told ya! Don't be unwise, judge me not by my size. You won't believe your eyes, watch the X-wing rise, while I look at your demise!"

A Frog born a very long time ago was Yoda. About 0.66 meters high and born on an unknown planet of which he never spoke he was...we think. Three quarters of the time, understand Yoda nobody could due to poor sentence structure. A controversy about him being part pickle, there is.

"Small may be meh brain,but large are meh weapons!!!!!!!! duhh*drools*....."
―Yoda, proving that all his sweets stolen he should have had and imprisoned in the 'Absolute Nutcase' area in the Insane Asylum with Darth Vader he should have been!!!!!

Early life

"When rapping, in proper grammar Yoda speaks, mmmmm!"
―Yoda, explaining his gangsta inconsistencies

Forced to leave his homeworld Yoda was when 30 years old he was because about to destroy the planet a war was. His sweetheart, Yaddle, a beautiful young Frog, he did not want to leave behind. So kidnap her he did and together left the planet to fulfill their dreams they did. To be Kermit's stunt double Yoda had always wanted, until drunk one night someone made him and that he wanted to be a Jedi Knight that "someone" convinced him. Although second thoughts Yaddle had, the dangerous journey to the Republic she did not want him to make alone.

Life as a Jedi

"When fisted by Frank Oz you have been, Wookiee Schlong not seem so big!"

When at the Jedi Temple , much weed Yoda smoked with his friends Mace Windu and Qui-Gon . Great hippies they were, and powerful in the Ways of the Smoke. Also, Good Relations with the Wookies, he had.

Fall to the Dark Side

"Speak not to me in that manner, for TFSU you should."
―An enraged Yoda, towards Yaddle

A promising Jedi Yoda became, but, one day Yaddle with a Toad he saw. This was when began his Fall to the Dark Side did, revenge he wanted, determined to destroy the evil Toad that threatened to take his sweetheart away from him he was.

Later life


Yoda, showing Luke the Power of the Force

"Bend over, show me your dark side you will!!"
―Yoda, at home having some "Happy Time"

After this little "incident", on went life. As the chairman of the Jedi Council Yoda lived on. Ignored by the younger members he often was, due to his short stature and his insistence on completely butchering Basic. During the fall of the Jedi, our supreme Lord Palpatine The Great Yoda battled, but defeated he was by his old age and his overactive bladder.

On the planet of Dagobah which was basically a swamp ball filled with giant insects, killer birds, and a computer with unlimited access to the holonet, Yoda ended up. After land there he did (thinking died he had and to Frog heaven he had gone), a hut Yoda built and basically nothing he did except smoke weed and spice for 20 years which he had because he had build a drug processesing plant which would make dagobah green within 20 seconds and he would sell it to the entire galaxy.yoda would also kidnap people and make them work are hookers and strippers for his own as his would call it "Yoda's Fun Time"

Finally to Yoda's surprise, show up a young wanna-be Jedi named Luke did. Being his typical self, began playing with his shit and playing with his flashlights and eating Luke's horrible food, Yoda did.

"I'm searching for an all Powerful Jedi an.... HEY! keep your hands off my Porn"
―Luke and Yoda

With that tell Luke that he was the all powerful Jedi and required a price for his training, Yoda did.

Behind the scenes

"The Force is in everything. It surrounds us. Binds us together. It's in the rock. Your car. Your boner on the subway. It's in that nice hoochie's ass in the tight leather pants. The kind you just wanna smack and go, 'Piyow, bitch!'"
―Yoda explaining the Force in a line provided by Larry King, himself

Yoda on his reign as the Dark Lord.

In the Star Wars films by Pat Morita, Yoda was portrayed.

This article is called Yoda. Yoda has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Yoda can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Yoda.

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki