You Are What You Eat: The Biography of an Insane Cannabalistic Blue Elephant was the biography of the Ortolan known as Frog-Buster. The author, Corneluis Smithwicky, was digested by Froggy half-way through writing the book, as was his typewriter. Thus, the book only contains two and a half chapters. As you can guess, it is not very helpful. On page twelve, you can spot a small blood stain, which is all that remains of Professor Smithwicky.
I walked briskly down a wide road on the planet Orto. The road was wide because Ortolans, the native species of Orto, were also wide. They glared at me as if to say I wasn't welcome, but I continued on nonetheless. I had an important meeting, and I certainly wouldn't miss it for these fat oafs. So I kept striding down the lane, pretending to be oblivious to the angry looks I was receiving in all directions.
He looked at me with peculiar interest and began to chop spices for his dinner. I became distracted and I turned back.... *blood stain on page, end of book*
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