Biographical information

Some planet with a lot of y's why? I dont know why!


27 ABY, Ryloth thank goodness

Physical description





One big MuthaKriffer!

Hair color

Dark brown,

Eye color

really kind and sweet



Personal shit
Chronological and political information

Old Republic


Darth Revan's gang

"Whats that boy? Mission is trapped in the well??"
―Darth Revan trying to understand Zaalbar

Zaalbar was Darth Revan's pet Wookiee. He joined his gang, killed a bunch of people and helped him destroy the Star Forge — which you can do to if you eat a big breakfast of Wookiee Munchies!


Early lifeEdit

Born on Kashyyyk, son of a mighty chief, he had some beef with his smarter brother who had him exiled for acting Strange with a capital "S". He ended up on Taris where he met his new babysitter Mission Vao. At some point he got PWNed by some pigs. Luckily for him he would soon be rescued and taken in as a pet by his new master Darth Revan.

Life aboard the Ebon HawkEdit

Carth: "Who the hell keeps pooping in my cockpit?!?"
HK-47: "Hilarious observation: The whiny meatbag said cock!"
Carth Onasi and HK-47

Zaalbar then joined his masters posse and visited many planets in order to search for ... Well, he did not actually know what he was looking for, and little did he care. He just liked to PWN, soil himself, eat and intimidate as much as he could, and teaming up with Revan and his evil minions gave him plenty of opportunity to touch his inner darkness. Along the way the crew accused him of eating all the food aboard the Ebon Hawk, a charge which hurt him to his hairy core. To alleviate his depression he beat Juhani to a pulp. Later in a cunning hunt he found a little girl named Sasha (the real culprit) in the storage compartment. Pissed off for getting the blame, he killed the little girl and ate her. (This is the REAL story and has a CANON rating of infinity).

Coming homeEdit

During his master's travels his biggest fear would come true; He would have to go back to the place he was exiled from. He was taken prisoner by his brother, causing Revan to agree to kill a Madclaw in the Shadowlands in order to retrieve his pet, but since Treachery is the way of the Sith Revan fooled his target (who was really Zaalbar's daddy) into redeeming his son and PWNing his other son with a sword he just found in some beasty he just destroyed. After a short battle between the two Wookiee factions, in which Zaalbar, his daddy and Revan's gang dominated their opponents, Zaalbar's daddy cried almost as much as Carth and told his son he had forgiven him and bestowed upon him the magical Wookiee sword to help him on his quest. Zaalbar replied that upon his return he would shove the sword up his daddy's............................well you get the picture.

Later lifeEdit

After many years he joined the Yuuzhan Vong along with Ernie and the both of them would come up with a plan to Utterly PWN Chewbacca ...................................Those Bastards!!!! Shockwave would find him years later on Ryloth and shoot the hell out of him. SWEET JUSTICE!

Behind the scenesEdit

Zaalbar liked to Poop.......a lot, his Poop was the reason the gizkaabandoned ship, he was also very good at making things that go boom.

This article is called Zaalbar. Zaalbar has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Zaalbar can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Zaalbar.